“Embracing Imperfection: My Journey from Doubt to Audacity”
And the question that inspired a transformation.
If you’ve ever tried to make friends in a new town, you might agree that it can be daunting. Add the extra challenge if your move is not related to work or school — where else can you go to meet people you can relate to?
While a local library or bookstore seems the most obvious answer for a bookworm like myself, the thought of disrupting the quiet nature of the space with idle conversation starters feels downright sacrilegious.
So what might be the next best thing? For me, it was the local coffee shop.
My husband and I sold our home, packed our fur babies into an RV, and traveled to the Blue Ridge Mountains. We have been living at various RV parks ever since, and from the day we settled long-term in one particular small town, we have frequented the same welcoming coffee shop.
It was easy to become enamored with the place, not least because of the barista’s animated and friendly personality. We steadily became acquainted with her and the many regulars who frequented on weekends. Of these wonderful new friends, I’ll refer to one of them by the name Riley.
Riley recently volunteered to assist my husband in his career shift. The focus has primarily been to help him navigate getting back into schooling to enhance a skill he has dabbled in but is naturally good at. With the proper certifications and connections, this career has a high earning potential.
One evening, however, the attention shifted towards me. Everyone has come to know that I too am looking for work. But I am not a fan of being the center of attention — I don’t like talking about myself either — so I stammered when asked about the kind of work I’m looking for.
I started listing off all the jobs I’ve held because they are things I’m familiar with and that most companies continue to look for, even though I already went through a catastrophic burnout because of the mental and emotional toll.
Riley politely interjected by asking me a question that has become a genuine motivational mantra —
“What do you like to do?”
I was stunned, and couldn’t quite say why.
I tried to consider the things I genuinely enjoy doing that might also help pay the bills (and not require extra schooling). It was my husband who cut the silence by offering that I was very good at writing (thanks for the save and encouragement, my love).
Riley followed up with, “Have you considered editorial work?”
The honest answer is yes. I may have run the inquiry through a search engine in the past, determining that my lack of a degree in a related field and my inability to work for free (intern) made for a candidate worth swiftly overlooking.
I also lack the audacity of some who simply apply while ignoring any significant gaps in qualifications. In sticking to what I’ve known, especially with the solid experience in black and white on my resume, it has always been easier to stick to what I know.
But this time, I couldn’t shake the conversation out of my head.
“What do I like to do? And could editorial work be that?”
A quick search that very night yielded information about a recent posting for an Editorial Assistant. I thought, “This is perfect — the chance to play to my strengths based on the kind of administrative experience I possess — and that they seek — while exposing myself to the knowledge of the publishing world.”
I believe that life provides small nudges and that when thoughts or feelings linger warmly within you, it is worth considering their meaning.
The question, “What do you like to do?” asked me if I would permit myself to have the audacity.
It asked me not to settle for the crumbs I believed I would “be permitted.” It asked me to pursue a reality that I could thrive in, not just one in which I was compromising my mental and emotional sanity for the sake of merely getting by.
I spent days preparing my application for this position. I printed the posting and used a blue pencil to highlight the requirements that were strengths of mine, a red pencil to highlight the things I could not easily attain (a relevant bachelor’s degree, though I have a Bachelor of Science), and a purple pencil to highlight the skills I could easily teach myself that they considered to be bonus experiences. The page was mostly blue by the end of this exercise, and I allowed that fact to give me the mental boost to pursue applying. If the one or two red marks were too much of a deal breaker, then that would be for them to decide, not for me to use as a reason to give up before trying.
I struggled through a fog of insecurity, doubting and re-editing everything I wrote, deciding which tone to take. What you’ve read up until these last two paragraphs was actually something I wrote to replace the standard cover letter. The company seems like a very unconventional team based on a few things I picked up on — and the typical cut-and-dry “pick me” cover letter of the corporate world was suffocating to compose. I thought, “What better way to stand out than to ‘story-tell’ my way into how I came across their listing and express my inspiration to apply?”
Well, plot twist: I did not submit this writing. I caved and asked for help with a regular cover letter. While I considered adding to and submitting the above as ‘an extra’ to the cover letter and resume combo, it seemed redundant, like trying too hard.
The time I took to write was not a complete waste. What writing this out did for me was to help me get started. It helped me to decide what was most important to me — attempt to impress a pro-editor with mediocre writing or avoid any embarrassment by delivering what’s expected of a cover letter.
Side bar: I once put cinnamon as the garnish for deviled eggs instead of paprika. It was my first Thanksgiving potluck in my college dorm and, in my 20-year-old egotistic naivety, I thought others might appreciate the sweet-and-savory rather than the flat vegetable-like flavor of the standard recipe. Well, I later found that someone had quietly made an entire new batch from scratch using the proper garnish. I don’t think anyone else touched my creation.
No feelings were hurt, but lessons were learned — in certain circumstances, the standard is what is most appreciated.
Now, if you’ve stayed with me for this long, thank you. I’m so grateful to have joined this community on Medium. I have bookmarked a handful of writings from those who provide great tips and insight into this craft. This post is here because I finally decided that “Done is better than perfect.”
I feel the long path ahead of me — honing my writing style, deciding who I am writing for and what I have most to say, and committing to a schedule for my craft, among so many other things.
As a reader and perhaps a fellow writer, I hope that you will be kind to, if not amused by, this caterpillar crawling about to find her way.
May this be a gentle place to shed our layers. May our metamorphosis serve to reflect the best of ourselves and others.
May we honor the phases we find ourselves in, and may the evolution of our creativity reach those who most desire to feel less alone.
Until next time, my fellow wanderers and dreamers, may your journey be joyous. And if you need it again: “have the audacity.”
