I’m in another stage of uncertainty

I’m in another stage of uncertainty. It happens every several weeks but eventually the path shows itself. It’s almost like I ran too far ahead too fast and the processor is taking a while to load the rest of the game.

With my career, I see what I’m aiming for. I see the steps to take to get there. Romantically, it’s the same thing. I see where I’m headed and I’m walking the path.

But for some reason, I feel uncertain.

I guess it’s because these are uncharted courses. It’s not the loop of the familiar.

Or they might be! But they’re disguised so well that I can’t tell. As far as I can tell, they look pretty damn different. Even my intuition is thrown off because it’s easy to predict when you’re dealing with patterns. What do you do when you’ve come up on a novel situation?

You do the best you can with the information you’ve got.

Whenever I blog, it’s important that I make some sort of contribution to the reader. I want to edify them in some way, or at least make them think. I don’t know if this post is going to fit the criteria yet, so we’ll see.

But yeah, uncertainty. I don’t like it. The very first post I did on Medium was basically about the notion that we aren’t really afraid of the unknown. We’re afraid that what’s inside the unknown is something we cannot handle.

The obvious solution would be to embrace the unknown, but how do you embrace what you don’t know? Maybe I won’t want to embrace it. Ever thought of that? And yeah, I know that that doesn’t matter because if I don’t embrace it, I’ll eventually have to do it anyway, but still… it’s hard.

This is the type of stuff that –isms are made of. Racism, classism, sexism, etc. They all have a built-in ignorance factor that drives people to utilize stereotypes to make sense of their world. They don’t look at what’s in front of them. They prefer to use biases. And who can blame them? They hold these biases because they were right in the past. Else, we wouldn’t have them.

White people really do shoot up large populations of people more than other races. Black people do have an aggression that makes them intimidating. Men are more cut off from their emotions than women. Women are more likely to manipulate. When people treat you like crap for so long, you would assume that those who treat you well are fakes. The last several times you set out on a financial goal, you failed so why would you try again thinking that things would be different this time?

This is how our brain protected us for eons. Why would it be wrong now?

Because things change. The context that was required for us to think in fear first isn’t completely gone but it’s definitely not as bad as it once was. We can drop the racial and sexual stereotypes. Even though they will pop up again, it isn’t as bad as your mind thinks it is. We can give people a second chance because you’re making new decisions in the company that you keep and so you will naturally have different experiences. We can aim for that financial goal, knowing that if we fail it’s because there’s something else to learn. There may have been some ignorance on how easy it would’ve been but now we’re learning.

Alright, so it turns out the post wasn’t just a stream of consciousness thingy. There was a point after all. See? I was uncertain but it worked out. And even if it didn’t, that would be okay too.