We All Have Fear of a Future That Doesn’t Exist
Upon reading another young bloggers thoughts on finding love I find that I hear the same sentence over and over again in female conversation. “ I’m scared I will never find someone.” “I don’t want to be alone at 60 with no kids and only my cat and no one to call.” “Who will find the body?” The funny thing is, as a woman nearing 30, I have definitely had, and listened to, all of these fears. Then I stop and look around at the life I have created for myself. A life with beautiful friends, a supportive family, and many beautiful memories and I can’t help but think: that hasn’t happened yet so why do we fear it for later?
Has this idea been so ingrained in us that we just automatically fear it without stopping to think if it could be a possible reality? Why do we assume that life would be different at 60 single then it would be at 20, or 30? Yes we will have grown more and done more, but we will also have more life experience to know ourselves and build even more friendships. The harsh truth is you can be in a relationship, surrounded by kids, and still feel completely alone. We need to stop buying into the fear that if we are not in a committed relationship by the time we reach a certain age our life will be incomplete and we will be unhappy.
Yes relationships are beautiful chances for growth and open you up to a world you can’t experience alone, but there is no point in fearing a future that simply doesn’t exist. If you are not married at 60 and are alone with your cat then guess what? I bet you have a lot of stories to tell and many friends to call. We need to stop investing so much into others and put more into ourselves. Why put your future in another’s hands? You control your life. If you don’t want to be alone at 60 then you won’t be. You will be the woman who has friends for miles and maybe a lover or two. Maybe you won’t have a cat maybe you will have an animal rescue. At the end of the day marriage or a relationship does not equal security. At the end of the day all you have is you and the choices you make to create the life you want. Maybe you are alone or maybe you aren’t that is entirely up to you.