Goodbye, Garmin

Some companies just deserve to die, and Garmin is a great example.

I am a bit old-school, and I still believe individual appliances are better than cramming everything into a mobile phone. And, as such, I loved my Garmin Driveluxe 50 GPS with awesome Bluetooth integration, lane assist, and hands-free.

I used it for three months on a Lancer that I’ve rented here in Colombia, and also during my honeymoon for two weeks driving the west coast of the USA (Seattle to Anaheim, then to Vegas). And, I truly loved it with all my heart.

But, when the honeymoon was over, everything fell to pieces. No, not my marriage: my love affair with my GPS. We were doomed to fail, and I wish I’d seen the signs sooner.

My relationship with Garmin started crumbling prior to our trip to the US when I tried to buy a US map.

Should have been easy, right?

Wrong, it wasn’t.

I had to go through the tedious process of opening an Issue on theGarmin’s US website to get a link to buy the map. Their digital rights management (DRM) and sales distribution system are basically huge roadblocks to their ultimate goal: getting customers to spend money.

Which begs the question: what’s the point in creating obstacles which get in the way of a customer buying a software download?

This was just the beginning of my heartache, but I’d made a commitment to my GPS and I wanted to honor that. So I persevered, and now I really wish I hadn’t.

Customer Hell, Part I

A couple of years later I wanted to update my local Colombian maps, but I couldn’t. Why? Because my account was blocked. Frustrated, I quickly gave up. Then, a few months later I decided to give Garmin a second chance and I tried again, but to no avail. And when I say “to no avail”, I mean that I couldn’t even reset my password. Filling out their Contact Firn was my plan B, but I had no luck with that either.

At this point, I gave up. My relationship with the local distributor (Pamacol) was rotten: they made some illegal charges, but I didn’t have the time nor the energy to complain to local consumer laws and generate a proper report outlining what happened. And maps? I could no longer even log in.

All I wanted was to return my newer fancy brick since I couldn’t update my maps anymore, but this started an uphill battle. I know it’s an unusual request to ask to return to a previous version, but I prefer that way. It makes a clear point I won’t accept a company’s trash as mine. After spending twenty minutes trying to do this, I found out a few things:

Garmin’s rules on “lifetime updates” are very blurry. If you’re interested you can read this, which is the small print for “lifetime updates”, which begs the question:

1. What does “update” even mean? Is it a map update (which I couldn’t do because I was locked out of my account) or a software update?
2. They consider themselves “very busy”, which seems to be prohibiting them from answering their customers.
3. Their offer of “lifetime updates” for their Colombian distributor is apparently only meant for US updates (which is a lie, as I’ve had to pay to have my US maps added onto my Colombia-bought update).

Customer Hell, Part II

At this point, they offered to sell me the maps, but as I’ve mentioned our relationship wasn’t salvageable. No amount of counseling would save us, and a separation was imminent. I mean, I’d had to place an angry phone call for each request, so it wouldn’t make much sense to maintain my device’s lifetime at the expense of lowering my own lifetime. They told me I could return my GPS to any of their local stores, which I’ll happily do that if that’s my only option (see more about this at the end).

So, what’s the problem with Garmin?

1. They have bad relationships with their distributors which completely compromises their user experience.
2. There is lots of (failed) DRM. I didn’t mind paying US 30 for a legal map (even if I could buy one at USD 2 on an illegal copy). What I did mind was not being able to login and update my maps during their 15-month silent treatment where they didn’t answer emails, contact forms or legal customer complaints.
3. There’s a real lack of integration with others platforms. I believe that people would happily pay to use their phones via Google Play, for instance.
4. There are too many models with too little care, which leads to a frustrating and dissatisfying maze of products.
5. They have a serious issue with a non-uniform experience and customers are held to ransom by local distributors.

What should Garmin do about all this?

1. First, they should go global and if needed, bypass distributors completely. If they can’t create an improved, uniform, stable customer experience via third parties, they need to do it themselves.
2. They need to be clear to customers what they understand as “lifetime”, and honor their promise (e.g. my Driveluxe is less than two years old, which fits “lifetime”. Yet, they said my device wasn’t supported anymore).
3. … or perhaps they should simply die. I’m personally rooting for this outcome. Keep people nostalgic, with their happy survivor bias. If you aren’t fit, you’re doomed to die, right?

What’s next?

I plan to return my GPS to a local store, but I wonder if you guys have any idea on eco-friendly ways to destroy it? Let me know in your comments below :)