The perfect moment will never arrive

Have you ever had an idea you wanted to write, but it dies before you even dare to do it? A novel or story that you would like to share but prefer to fantasize about instead of actually writing it?

Or maybe you just think you have something to say, but you don’t want to do it just yet because it might not be the right time? Well, I know how that feels, because I’ve been in that position for quite some time and this is the story of why I chose not to wait for the right time and decided to write anyway.

Why did I post this?

I want to be honest with you, I've been broke and unemployed for about six months. I graduated from college in August from last year and immediately started looking for a job related to my major: “Latin American Literature”. I was very optimistic at the beginning, I thought I would find a decent job as an editor, style corrector, copywriter or any similar position if I just kept applying for every position that I was qualified for. However, turns out that I was wrong, not only I haven't been able to find a decent literature related job, but I haven't been able to find a job at all.

Whenever I applied to editor or copywriter positions, the person who was interviewing me would directly tell me I didn't have enough experience for the job or that they weren't looking for freshly graduated people.

I then started applying for “simpler” jobs such as waitress or assistant at makeup stores, but whenever I was interviewed for those, the people who were conducting the interview would tell me that I was “over-qualified” (because of my degree) and that they couldn't hire me.

At this point, I started losing all hope and spent a few months desperately looking for ANY job as I drowned deeper and deeper into depression and anxiety.

There was a point when I even considered suicide (again). It might sound a little harsh, but I've dealt with depression, anxiety, PTSD and suicidal thoughts for about ten years now. That’s why my brain has this “default thought” in which the solution for a problem I can't fix is always considering or attempting suicide somehow.

It overwhelmed me how useless I felt and the fact that I was not paying a debt I gained with one of my college friends to pay for my academic title after graduation was not helping. I've also been borrowing some money from my father, but he's also getting impatient since I'm not a student anymore and my degree should be useful by now.

While studying, I got a full scholarship, which not only covered my career tuition but also provided me with money for meals and transportation. That’s how I survived during the four years I was in college. However, once I finished studying, I found myself stuck between having finally graduated and not having a job.

The solution?

During these months I found Freedom with writing, a platform that compiles and sends writing opportunities for freelance writers. As I started reading into their articles, I found myself profoundly attracted to the idea of becoming a freelance writer and winning my own money while working from home and doing what I ACTUALLY LOVE: writing.

However, my insecurities and fear stopped me from writing for quite a while. It was just recently that I decided I would stop applying for jobs I would not get anyway and start working in my writing instead of just seeing freelance writing like that other option that I was both excited and scared about.

And that’s what this first entry is, my first attempt to put something of myself out there in the hopes of starting my journey towards being a writer.

This year, I decided that I wanted to write, and that’s what I'm going to do, even if I am not 100% sure what my writing niche is, even if I still feel inexperienced and naive, even if choosing this implies putting all my time and energy into something that might not work. Because, as I mentioned earlier, writing is what I love.

I have plenty of essays and articles that I wrote when I was at college, that I'm planning on sharing with you. However, once I finished studying, the writing part was suddenly difficult and harsh. At some point, I also thought “Who’s going to be interested in whatever I have to say?”.

And that’s how it hit me. I will never have the answer to that question if I don't put myself out here and publish what I write. I can only know if someone cares about my voice if I share it.

You need to create the “perfect time”, otherwise it will never arrive

There would never be a “better” or “perfect” time to write, so I decided I'd start with this. I'm sorry if it comes out as some whiny complaint, but I seriously had to get it out of my mind and share it, because I wanted my readers to know me before sharing any other articles or text. I want to post frequently in here and start pursuing my writing dream from now on.

If you feel like you could write about something but you fear the reaction or rejection your work could have, I strongly encourage you to write even if you don’t publish it; whether you want to write a blog, a story, a script or even an entire book.

The only way for those ideas to take shape is if you give it to them. I promise you that if you work on your writing even for just fifteen minutes each day you'll start getting used to writing and you will make a habit out of it, and so, the blank page will be less and less intimidating each time you face it.

I'll also be publishing an article of 5 tips to avoid writer’s block or what I do whenever I find myself staring at a blank page for hours soon, so if you're interested in it stay tuned.