Sometimes you have to say good-bye. Sorry, not sorry.
In the past year of my life, there has been one topic that I can’t seem to get enough of: decluttering.
I became a freelancer almost two years ago, and with the freedom of working from virtually anywhere at virtually any time, came the freedom of traveling and getting rid of unnecessary stuff in my life.
In the past 8 months I’ve thrown away or donated around 75% of my clothes, not planning to restock anytime soon. I got a lighter laptop with less disk space. I own only 5 pairs of jeans, planning to make it 4 soon (my sister owns over 10 pairs). In the process of decluttering my life, I also lost 10kg (22 lbs) and got rid of the energy-draining activities I no longer enjoyed (like an exhaustive work-out routine every morning at 6am).
I’m not gonna lie. Decluttering my life has been very difficult. As many people in the American continent and living in a Latin American culture, I’ve felt drawn to owning stuff in order to prove my social value for many years (my mom still freaks out every time she sees me taking out a black plastic bag full of clothes). But for me, the feeling of lightness I have when I remember that it’s very easy for me to pack for a 6-month trip in a single 15kg bag, is priceless.
All this decluttering around Easter and preparing for a new 6-month nomadic adventure around Europe got me thinking: what if I started decluttering bad relationships? People who no longer bring anything positive to my life? Having less things has allowed me to have more awareness of where my energy and time go, and I’ve noticed that the idea of talking to some people really drains me out.
What if I could declutter my life from all the noise that negative a*holes bring?
They say people change. I disagree. I think there are facets of our life that change, but our character never really does. That Dementor you have as a friend is probably always going to be an energy-sucking little b*tch, and no matter what you make as an excuse for them, they’ll have a tendency to see the negative side in everything. That two-faced fella you love to gossip with? Probably gossiping about you to his friends. That’s just the way it goes.
There’s a saying in Spanish: “Lo que Juan dice de Pedro, dice más de Juan que de Pedro.” Meaning, literally: “What John says about Peter speaks more about John than Peter”. So if there are people in your life who speak badly about their jobs, their friends, their spouses… there’s probably something wrong with the way they perceive their life. How can you always have something bad to say about the things that surround you, and that you have created for yourself?
I personally am through with negative people. At 28, after going through a long soul-searching processes that I’m not sure will ever end, I’ve discovered I don’t have the time to live my life according to anybody’s expectations of me but my own. I don’t have to spend energy with things, situations or people who don’t get me one step further in life. I’ve met so many wonderful and positive people in this past two years without even asking for it, why should I keep the downers in my list? It’s time to ditch those bitches.