Whole-ass one thing

As a student with with big dreams, I often find myself struggling to finish everything I need to do. Tests and homework keep piling up, and at the same time I’m trying to create a different lifestyle for me and the ones around me.

It’s not easy to actually get anything done, when there’s just so much to do. I try to do my homework, but it’s never quite where I want it to be. I try to study for my exams, but the grades never really reflect what I’m capable of. And at the same time, I never really get to finish the projects I’ve poured so much of my soul into.

The problems seems to be that I’m trying to do everything, and because of that I never really get anything done.

This semester has been really tough on me, both physically and mentally. I used to go to the gym about five times a week, because I felt going to the gym gave me more energy which in turn helped me do stuff. However, due to an increase in workload and moving further from the gym, I’ve caught myself going there only twice in four months. The increase in workload has also caused my grades to decline, though I’ve spent far more time studying than last semester. But the worst part about it is that I’ve not nearly finished any of the projects I started, though I’ve clearly had enough time to do so.
If I keep up at this pace, where does that leave me? Unemployable (due to bad grades), in bad physical condition (due to lack of exercise), and without a future (due to not finishing any projects).
It seems as though my pursuit of mastering everything has lead me to fail at everything.

My experiences this semester have led me to understand one thing, which Ron Swanson of the TV-Show Parks and Recreation perfectly said at some point:

“Don’t half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”

I’m more than capable of achieving my dreams, and also of getting a 4.0 GPA. But I cannot do both. I’ll have to make a choice, and that choice boils down to personal preference. I enjoy creating apps and learning useful stuff, because I’m driven and motivated to do so. However, doing my homework is not something I enjoy equally much.
And the reason why I’d want a 4.0 GPA in the first place, is to secure my future in case my business don’t go as I want. If I choose getting a good GPA, it seems as if I’ve given up on my dream before I’ve even given it a shot.

My goal has never been to work for someone else, and even a high-paying position at Apple would be a personal failure. A 4.0 GPA will never make me happy, and therefore I’d rather risk my grades hoping that a business of my own will work out.

Just to comfort myself, a portfolio of top-selling apps will definitely look better than a 4.0 GPA and theoretical knowledge of Assembly. Obviously that depends on where I end up, but in most cases it will be true.

But no matter what I choose, the important thing to take from this is not to take the middle road. Go extreme, bet everything. The middle road would cause me to have a few unfinished rushed apps and a average GPA. Both edge-paths are good, but don’t take the middle road. It won’t get you anywhere to be mediocre at everything.

This semester has been hard, and to call it a failure is an understatement. However, I have gained knowledge which will help me tremendously in the coming years. They say that you learn from the mistakes you make, and that is indeed the case here. Though I’m sad this semester didn’t get me where I wanted to be, I’m happy that I’m even more prepared to get there next semester.


Note: I’m writing this post as a way to procrastinate studying for my finals. They are less than a week away, starting on Tuesday going through Thursday. There are four in total, and I don’t really know any of the subjects. I’m fearful that there’s not enough time to actually learn a semester worth of four subjects in a matter of a few days, but I’ll try. This just enhances my conclusion that half-assing multiple things doesn’t really work out well in the end, regardless how you look at it. I’ve also noticed that when trying to switch between doing different things, it’s easy to get stuck doing nothing useful (like now). Even more of a reason to focus on one thing, and one thing only, if you want to succeed.
Note 2: Turns out I was just a little paranoid, and this semester ended up being my best one yet.

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