Let’s talk about 4R to Happiness: Remove, Replace, Refine, Realise.
Let’s face it, being happy and feeling fulfilled is a rare occurrence in today’s world. I can only offer you my advice based on what I have experienced.
Working in the digital business for the last 21 years, I have had the opportunity to establish agencies and create start-ups. With these opportunities, I have had to face the failure of some, but I looked at my failed projects as a privilege to learn and apply. Over time, failures occurred less and less. Success proved itself to be a process, not a destination. This process made me realize that happiness is not as simple to achieve as we are taught as kids.
Since I could probably be classified as a scatterbrain, it’s easy for me to mis-allocate valuable time and energy. I try to avoid being side-tracked by micro work and try my best to find the easiest and most effortless way of organizing my thoughts and work process.
I have discovered many solutions to this problem, but let’s start with “Mantras”.
By coming up with new mantras which are easily memorized, I am able to codify the way I work and live every day.
This is the most recent one I follow and I can tell you that so far, it’s proved itself to work over and over again.
The 4 R’s to happiness: REMOVE, REPLACE, REFINE, REALIZE
Let’s get into the details:
Start removing unnecessary people.
Anyone who doesn’t bring good energy to the table, should be gone. Today.
Anyone who doesn’t add to your journey or enrich your life, should be gone. Today.
And finally, anyone who doesn’t teach you something new once a while or fails to support you through your failures, should be gone. TODAY.
Start removing unnecessary things.
Stop spending so much time on the couch.
Stop wasting time on things that don’t contribute to your personal development.
Stop making unconscious choices. Think clearly and choose consciously.
In the office:
Remove unnecessary tasks from your shoulders.
Every day we do tasks that are actually someone else’s work. Either because “they can’t do it they way I can” or “I can do it faster and better”. We are bombarded with stuff that is not related to our primary work. All it is doing is side-tracking you from what needs to be done to accomplish your greater goal. Cleanse yourself.
After removing things and people and creating a healthier empty space in your mind and life, start replacing.
Im not perfect- far from it actually.
There are things that we hold on to, no matter what. (for me, that’s sweet stuff. I just can’t help myself) To a certain extent, this is also healthy. Since I am still developing myself, I see it as my getaway ticket on my journey to becoming a stronger-willed person.
So, let’s replace these “sweet things” with better choices.
Replace couch time with activities.
Replace sugar with healthier alternatives.
Replace your “could be worse” attitude with a “how can I learn from this and apply” attitude.
Sometimes we settle, we push ourselves to believe that “enough is actually ok”. It’s not.
Replace “good enough” things/people with things/people who enhance you and your life.
The difference you will experience once you start replacing the things/people you have consciously chosen to remove, will make you wonder why you didn’t do this years ago.
It’s a conscious step towards a better life, a better you. Success and happiness comes with consciously choosing which micro steps to take and taking it with stride. Millions of them. So start by replacing. If in the future you feel as though the replacement doesn’t contribute to your development any longer, remove it. It is a conscious choice. Make it every day.
After removing and replacing, it is time to refine what you have chosen to keep and add.
Start by refining your goals. Make them crystal clear. Imagine them with all details. Imagine the road you are taking, the process that you will endure, the energy you need to achieve those goals. Set your mind up for success.
Now start asking the right questions to yourself, every day.
- What is my goal for today?
- What did I achieve today?
- Am I making progress on the right path?
- Is it necessary to do this?
Sharpen your focus. asking the right questions will allow you to make better choices and enable you to be smarter in planning your work process and ultimately have you doing less.
Trust me, you will do less but you will achieve so much more!
Here comes the hard part:
After all these preparations it now comes down to you. You have to do it. You have to work for it.
You consciously removed the unnecessary from your mind & life,
You consciously replaced unnecessary things with better versions, choices,
You consciously refined your goals and cleared your mind,
Now you need to realize that you are ready to realize them!
It looks so easy. It’s not.
Most people’s specialities are finding excuses to avoid doing things just because they are afraid of failures. Or even because they are intimidated by what new stresses success will bring along with it.
Failure is part of the natural cycle of growth and towards success. We fail gloriously through our life, we apologize, we f*ck things up, we lose people, we lose jobs… But in the end, we become a better version of ourselves.
So, just try it. Start small. Feel the difference and slowly apply it more and more. There is no other way.
That’s it, The 4 R’s of Happiness.
If what you have read here motivated you and made you realize that you also need conscious changes to be made, please SHARE this article and CONTRIBUTE to the self-improvement of those around you.
Tell me about your journey, your stresses, your challenges or how this article made you feel by COMMENTing below. I look forward to hearing from you!