What College Doesn’t Teach You, Life WILL: Orientation

It was in Mrs. Rice’s first grade class when I got my first ‘C’ on the first nine-week’s progress report (that’s what it’s called in grade school). I didn’t think it was that bad since all of my other grades were A’s and B’s. But honey let me tell you, when I got home to show my mama, my naivety was cut short…real quick.

She looked at my progress report, looked back at me with low, cutting eyes and said “You don’t believe fat meat greasy.” She was absolutely right. But when she came back with that belt…I believed fat meat was greasy, white meat was dry, and whatever else would prevent me from getting my first “whooping” as its called down south! It was in that moment, I knew, average was unacceptable. I knew it so much so that I literally pissed on myself, prayed harder than ever and for every report card after that C, I left a note with my report card on her bed because I didn’t make all 100's…although I did make all A’s.

Fast forward a bazillion years — 6 months after college — I now understand why my mother whipped me hard enough to resist being average, but not too harshly to where I felt defeated. She knew I would soon endure the whooping of a lifetime — life itself! So now, I invite YOU to join me as we share every set back, strike or obstacle life throws at us.

I promise it’s not intended to defeat you, but instead, put a bad taste in your mouth for things, people, careers, relationships, etc. that are clearly beneath your standards and deserve 0% of your time and energy. Join me only if you can become nauseous, vomit, and keep it pushing baby! Love you