Can I be honest? I hate self improvement books…

Most of them are useless or even bad, because they send a wrong message: “You have to change, you have to improve!”. How? By following techniques, methods and strategies recommended by personal growth gurus, of course.

I tried to change myself and my life, I really mean it. However, my mind and body seemed to refuse to execute my orders. I thought that my will was poor, so I had to commit myself more. But I was wrong, because — as Ayooluwa Uthman says — “behavioral change isn’t achieved by bombarding yourself with rules, quotes, habits, systems and what not”.

I understood this when I read “Realizzare se stessi: Tutti hanno un compito nella vita” [Realize yourself: Everyone has a task in life], an Italian book written by psychotherapist and psychiatrist Raffaele Morelli. He writes:

«I would like to change. How can I improve myself?» Many people ask that, because they are oppressed under the weight of their uneasiness, so they believe they can get out of it in this way. But they are completely wrong: the solution is not to try to change, but to finally be yourself. Each of us has a special gift, a talent that only asks to be brought to light.

[Morelli writes in Italian language, of course. But as it is a great passage, I thought it was worth translating it into English, so English speaking people can read it too 😉]

So, you’re right when you say “even the term self improvement implies that you aren’t good enough”, because there’s nothing to change or improve: you just have to grow up, continuing to be yourself. However, not everyone understands this.

I think if you really want to grow up, first of all you must get rid of the garbage that the gurus sell us. I call this “Abstraction Art”, because it’s about abstracting the essential and eliminate the needless. It’s a bit like sculpture, isn’t it? 😃

By the way, Christine your post is fantastic, I love it! 😉

P.s. I’m sorry for my English. I’m Italian and I’m trying to… “improve” it! 😅