Happy Birthday Mum, I wrote a blog about those wise words you shared…

On her birthday, celebrating 64 trips around the sun, I called my beautiful inspirational mamma and asked her to share with me her three most significant and notable lessons learnt from many years of studying and consulting the I Ching, an influential and ancient Chinese classical text which has provided influence and inspiration to the worlds of religion, psychoanalysis, business, literature, and art for many centuries.

I thought that she would want to take my question away and give it some careful thought but given the nature of the question it shouldn’t have been a surprise that the answers were just there.

At home in Lancaster, May 2017

Lovely confident words poured from her lips whilst I scrambled for my notepad and pen getting far more than I bargained for. It’s been a couple of years now, aligned with my yoga journey, that I’ve been more curious about the philosophical and spiritual studies of both my parents. Something which impassioned my dear dad until the day he left this world.

My mums response was really quite simple:

- You cannot rescue other people.

No matter how much you want to and no matter how much they appear to need it. You can be there to support them, but it serves everyone best if you have faith and believe in their own power to help themselves

- Don’t go more than half way… in ANY relationship.

We hear this a lot when we’re talking about romantic relationships — find your equal bla bla but it applies in business and friendships too. There is the natural ebb and flow of any relationship but when it comes down to it, no matter how established the relationship, valuable the client or how in love you feel, it is always ok take stock and let your instinct tell you if it feels like the balance has tipped.. in either direction!

- We are not in charge (of everything!)

Goals, plans, vision boards yes! create them all, but also build a relationship with the other forces that are at play. Trust them rather than resisting them and they can all work together.

After 64 years of life on this earth, lengthy study into the I Ching and a career as a Psychotherapist I’m fascinated that these are my mums stand out lessons. They have surprised me as really quite practical and easily applicable. They are the thoughts that many of us have in our awareness but most of us struggle to trust in.

And the most precious part of this story is that at the end of this conversation my mum thanked me for asking her this question and said that the conversation itself had been the best birthday gift I could have given. Lucky, because I didn’t send much in the post ;-)

So my final thought is, imagine if on birthdays we all decided to give gifts that help us connect and learn more about those people. If we were to soak up all of that persons learnings in life so far and put our energy into spreading that wisdom, could it lead us all to a life of more trust?

If you’re interested in reading more about the Philosophy of the I Ching my mum recommends The guide to the I Ching written by Carol Anthony.

Happy Birthday Mum x