The BRAT diet will make you feel like a Brat

You don’t know what the Brat diet is? Well let me enlighten you.

It’s a diet created by your childhood pediatrician to ruin all sick days and cure your body of excreting from both ends (sorry). It was normally paired with some heavy purple liquid that barely slid down the little shot-glass type thing you took it out of and a sippy cup filled with water, another filled with gatorade. It’s ironically configured acronym stands for Banana, Rice, Applesauce, Toast. By restraining the type of food you can eat, you lose weight (which is also contributed by the fact that you are most likely in the bathroom a lot while on this diet). You’re never really hungry, but like most diets you always feel like eating a pizza.

When you’re 22 and on the Brat diet, you don’t have your mother serving you perfect toast and Mott’s applesauce. It’s a different, depressing ball game.

When you first give up all food that is good in the world you go for the toast. You wonder why anyone would ever eat dry toast? But everyone knows there’s a secret B in the Brat diet.

For lunch you eat plain white rice and instinctively go for the soy sauce and Siracha, only to realize that those two wonderful sauces will put you on the BRAT diet for another week. You actually enjoy the plain white rice, oddly.

Why would any 22-year old have applesauce in their fridge? It’s glorified baby food that is delicious at only one time of the year. But now you have a whole jar of it. And your co-workers are looking at you funny and you then precede to proclaim the benefits of the BRAT diet to the whole table.

You eat bananas everyday so that’s a no-brainer, almost too easy. So you don’t eat it. Can’t ruin the one good thing on the diet.

By the end of the day you’re almost kinda happy for your body. The BRAT diet is like the normecore juice detox, except with all tan foods and you get to chew. For once you weren’t all that worried about your meal cause you already knew it was going to be pathetic. The really only thing missing was the sippy cup.

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