The Importance of Accepting, in breaking Bad Habits

Most bad habit are hard to break, especially when — as in my case - it concerns a habit which is so strong that it tricks your better judgement into making you believe it is actually good. Drinking: a habit neglected and underestimated by myself for far too long, which I have now succesfully (….) broken away from. But as with all bad habits: there is a general solution….

For many years my friends and loved ones have recognised the issue, but (mainly I) waived it away because alcohol is so fully accepted in our present society. Also: it offered a quick relief. I will not go into all the cliches (binge drinking, hidden bottles, mood swings, memory issues, unsafe behaviour, embarrassing moments, etc etc), because they have been over described and do not serve the purpose of my attempt here.

What made the difference for me? Acceptation, on which I will expand later.

Health issues made me start to finally accept I had a problem. I realised that my bad habit significantly increased the chance of dieing young. Either due to organic issues, or simply accidental while intoxicated. It was hard to accept.It was hard to imagine a life without the easy exit via alcohol.

Firstly I recognised several (incorrect) assumptions

  • I do not need alcohol to be nice/ liked/ accepted
  • Dare to be honest, dare to be myself
  • Be honest if you DISagree, don t Always want to please
  • If something doesnt work: dont worry about it! Tough luck, better luck next time.
  • I dont Always have to have an answer to everyting
  • Somethimes it fine -, if not better to just shut up
  • Emotions are waves you can ride: high AND low, ride them!
  • Alcohol numbs emotions into being flat ________
  • The world is a lot prettier when youre sober: colors, music, sex, warmth, cold, noise, emotions — all stronger

No rocket science and not the main point of the point I am trying to make…

Next I summoned up what would improve for myself:

  • Health
  • pleasure in life
  • Self respect
  • Ego
  • Better social contacts
  • Clarity
  • Creativity
  • Energy
  • Better relations
  • Self assurance

I could write an article about each of the above, but again — not the main point I want to make. Here it somes: Acceptating. Acceptation.

Not in accepting myself — but accepting others. By accepting that others have the same bad habit as I, and admitting to myself that I infact looked down on them condescendingly. When I accepted that they had to deal with a craving which is so powerful, and almost stronger then themselves; and how hard it is to offer resistance to this craving: did I accept myself.

Then I realised that with many if not all prejudices this is the case. People are quick to disapprove of anything outside their comfort zone. This is probably due to fear of the unknown. Everyone has characteristics different from yours but this is what makes them unique — just like me, and you.

Accepting the lesser qualities and differences that exist have given me positive energy which I can use for much more important matters. I am confident this will make my life, as well as those I care for — a lot happier.