To the love of my life

Michelle and I

There was a moment when I first gazed upon your face that I felt something different from all the others. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could be myself around you. We shared moments of joy, tears of happiness and we fully revealed ourselves to each other. The circumstances in which we met were not ideal and to be honest, no one had faith that our flower would blossom.

But blossom it did, I fought for you and to the victor went the spoils. We had a beautiful daughter out of pure love because we knew then that we were meant for one another and we wanted to be together. I had never fell so deeply in love as I did with you. I asked for your parents permission to bend on one knee proclaiming my love for you with my intention to some day marry you.

But, something happened. It was me, I was scared because while we both came down off the high, you still looked at me the same and felt the same way. I, on the other hand, let my fear consume me. I acted out, I pushed you away, I started treating you differently than from the day we first met. I did everything I could to avoid taking the blame and for this, I am sorry. A point came where we were not sure if we would be together anymore.

But then, you did something that I’d never expect anyone to do. You still loved me, you stood by me, you fought for me just as I had once fought for you. Life was hard and with school and work, often very hectic. You never faltered, you never strayed and you stood true by my side hoping one day, I would come around. It was painful for you because as much as you tried, it had to come from within me.

Then, one day it did. But the feeling of knowing that I had mistreated you consumed me and only led to insecurities, even though you stood by me through the worst.

When I reflect back on the past 6 years, the only regret I have is that I did not love you more, showed more affection and make you feel like you were appreciated. The time is certainly lost and we cannot change the past. But, I have a chance now with you in the present.

There’s this idea that relationships should be perfect; that we should not hurt the ones we love. It’s a lie. Strength is not measured by how you are during the most ideal of situations, but the most difficult of them. I believe that we have passed this point and that our bond is stronger than it has ever been.

Here we are, set to marry each other within a week from now in front of our family and friends and I have never been so excited in my lifetime. You are the love of my life, I promise to always be there and never take you for granted for a single second ever again. To never put blame on you for the actions of my own doing. To put myself in your place when you’re upset. To love you with everything I have. To have faith in us maybe even when you do not, just as you have always done.

The reason why I am the person I am today is because of you. The sacrifices you have made for us will never be forgotten. I will do everything I can to make sure that you have a smile on your face, for you to know that I will never leave your side and no matter what, fight for us until there’s nothing left.

My sugar bear, you are the apple of my eye, my everything.

To the love of my life,

I love you.