Music-lovers celebrate 6th-annual Hopscotch festival
Kelly McNeil
11

This is a really strong story and you’ve done a great job collecting interviews and information to produce an original take on Hopscotch (especially impressive without having the wristbands yourselves). There are only a few things you might work on to really fine tune this piece and make it a piece of writing that people would share and discuss amongst themselves (i.e., outside our classroom).

The main thing is framing the article a bit more by noting that you wanted to do something original and talk to the people on the street. It’s a good idea; own it. You could also develop the conclusion a bit more to tie the overall themes from the article back together and leave the reader with a refresher on the main points about the festival that you want to drive home from the interviews.

Lastly, you might consider using the quote feature on Medium one or two more times. Your large image with a quote at the middle of the article is great, and it does a good job of breaking up the long text and keeping things visually stimulating. Using the quote feature to stylize some part of the first and second halves of the story might add to that well and make the whole piece more stimulating (which generally makes it feel like a quicker read).

As a whole, this is a really great start, and with just a bit of tweaking, it could be something really great. Nice work!

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