Lunch With Your Pup
Brooke Newton

You have a good start on your story here. I’d say that you got some of the right information, and then ran into a wall trying to describe it in enough detail to meet the word limit. There are only so many ways to say that you can bring your dog to a place, right? I’d like to give you some suggestions on how you can rework this a bit to be a more coherent and strong piece.

First, you need a central argument or narrative that ties it all together. Why are you writing this article? Why should people read it and what should they be taking away from it? You need to find a way to answer that in 2–3 sentences and do it at the very beginning. Then you need to orient all the rest of the information around that.

If you are narrating your personal experience looking for dog friendly restaurants, say so, and tell the story that way (explain it chronologically, from how you found a place, got there, what you did there, what you thought about it while you were there, how you think about it now, and include throughout facts about the place, like its background or history, its prominent items, its location, its hours, etc.).

If you are providing a guide for other people that offers them some options, explain up front the importance of taking their dogs with them and then say that your goal is to describe some of their options. Then you want to provide a more fact based story (rather than focusing so much on your personal narrative of trying them out). You would stress their background information and history, their prominent items, add photos of the places, their food, and of dogs there. And you would probably break that into sections with their own headers with links to the restaurant’s websites, links to maps to find them, etc.

I really think that the trouble you faced was with finding enough information to fill the story. Once you’ve oriented it, you just need to boil down what you personally have to say about the place to a paragraph or two. You also want to include more specific information about places (where they are, what their hours are, how long they have been dog friendly and why, what features they offer for both humans and dogs, etc.). Mix facts in with the subjective information, and include more visuals in place of repeating yourself.

I think if you take the time to read all this and rework the story, it could be really great. And if you aren’t sure how to go about doing that or if my comments aren’t clear, please just let me know and I would be happy to talk with you about it.

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