The first step often missed in manifesting your absolute best life

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Photo by Paige Cody on Unsplash

When we get a new couch, we need to clear the old to have space for the new. It’s obvious. Ironically, when we talk about clearing space or cleaning out, we are usually only talking about material things.

But why do we stop here?

Often we are working so hard to create a life where we energy, alignment, and everything is flowing. So it would only make sense to make space for these things too!

Here, I will talk about clearing physical clutter and turning that old clutter into renewed energy. But of course, I will not fall into society’s…


But I learned 3 worthwhile lessons

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Photo by Meg on Unsplash

In 2017, I had finally decided to leave my abusive ex. I was trying to do all the things that would lend me to success, like going to therapy and dating.

As therapists do, when I would go into her office, she would ask me for updates.

How is your anxiety?

Have you had any contact with your ex?

How is dating going?

Being the natural over-sharer I am, I would spill. Often times, I would find myself talking the full therapy hour, 55 minutes, only to realize she barely got a word in.

I enjoyed Therapy. It was an…


4 steps I use to navigating my unhealthy attachment to my cats

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Photo by Japheth Mast on Unsplash

For my boyfriend’s 30th, we got a cabin in the woods. We toyed with the idea of bringing our two kittens, Cortado and Bru. But, we ultimately landed on having a friend pet sit them.

I know this was the right decision. The cats would have been anxious in a new environment, had a hard time with the car ride to get here, and ultimately made all of our lives more stressful.

So tell me why the second we got there it dawned on me that my dear old friend, anxiety, had come along for the weekend too.

At first…


Because whether you are 12 or 65, female or male, the experience is largely the same.

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Photo by Tanja Žarić on Unsplash

When I was in 7th grade, I was the victim of mean girls. Of course, it was all over a boy. What else do 12-year-old girls have to mean about? Actually don’t answer that, the possibilities are too endless.

Long story short I was with my group of girlfriends at the annual summer Strawberry festival. It was seemingly a typical day filled with strawberry filled food, vendor trucks, and crowds (large crowds).

Yet, what appeared to be out of the blue, the girls started running. One by one, I watched my friends begin to run away. At first, I thought…


In the recovery process, all feelings are valid

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Photo by Hazzel Silva on Unsplash

Readers please note: this story includes references to abuse and recovery. If you need information or help, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

September 11, 2020, was my two-year birthday. Not my biological birth date, but the date I decided to seek help in my journey of codependency. The day I set myself free.

It is the marking point of the first day I walked into a strange room and learned what codependency was — and simultaneously discovering that I was exactly who it defined. …


A reminder of how females' negative experiences with men are still not taken as truth.

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Photo by Taisiia Stupak on Unsplash

Facebook 2020 is out of control. It has turned into a place where everyone spews their political views no matter how uneducated or heartless. It seems to have lost all boundaries.

Sadly, being from a small rural town, I see this nearly every time I enter the platform. Because of it, I often sign off after fighting with or even removing, 2–3 friends due to blatant ignorance.

And this is because everything that touches Facebook seems to become political; even when what I posted was my personal experience of discomfort with an elderly man.

Yes, this too, required a political…


AKA, your golden ticket to happy and healthy relationships.

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Photo by Ronaldo Oliveira on Unsplash

When my now boyfriend and I first started dating, I was paralyzed with fear that I was going to become codependent on him. All I knew in relationships was codependence. Love that came with cycles of magnifying, toxic, earth-shattering highs, and trenches of deep dark grasping pain.

Cue me showing up at my ex-boyfriend’s house at 12am. Texting him to come outside even though I knew he did not want to see me. Having another toxic fight that went until 6am. Then finding me in his arms crying about him to him.

It sounds romantic until I add the part…


The mantra I didn’t know I needed.

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Photo by Gemma Chua-Tran on Unsplash

The day I got my first abnormal Pap results is in the top 10 worst days of my life. I was at work sitting at my desk at work when I got a call from an unknown number. I answered and was told I had atypical squamous cells and was positive for HPV.

I knew zero about what this meant, but I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I immediately walked back to my desk, told my boss I was leaving, drove home, and cried. …


Poetry Sunday

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Photo by Noelle Australia on Unsplash

I have a weird relationship with candles.

I don’t want to burn them.
I buy them with gooey thoughts of cold days
where they burn
as I cuddle up a warm blanket.

Yet those days come
and my candle sits idle.

I do the same thing with a good chocolate bar.
I want to savor every last bite,
taste the sweet tingles on my tonge,
and enjoy it for a lifetime.

But I wait too long
and my chocolate goes bad.

I am a similar way with money. …

Alexandra Ringer

Life Coach & Writer on how to end toxic cycles appearing in your life and manifest the dream. I use my own story to inspire you✨ IG: @recov.her.y

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