Five things you need to know about raising STEAM-oriented girls
“I am not one who can take things easy. I happen to be a turnupstuffer, so of course, I never have a free moment.” Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren
We extrapolate everyday observations of individuals or specific groups to the whole category. It is a fact of life. We go from my aunt and sisters speaking three foreign languages to ‘women having good language skills’ or from my father, brother and cousin having backgrounds in engineering to ‘men are good at maths’.
We stereotype.
We also tend to give more weight to men’s roles in society, thus valuing more stereotypes about men. Once of a sudden, speaking languages is labelled as less valuable than being good at math. In the context of STEAM, this is not necessarily true. Most of the time, science is actually logic and language. It could be reading and writing, it could be coding, which is just another language.
So we are wrong to think language skills are less important than maths skills. We do that simply because gender stereotypes pigeonhole women and their strengths as inferior to men.
To make the reality we live in even more unfair, gender stereotypes pair high-level intellectual abilities more with men than with women. No matter how much we would like to block these gender stereotypes, parents, media, and teachers involuntarily transfer these to children.
Already at the age of six, girls internalize gender stereotypes
Children are fresh learners, ready to absorb and package information into stereotypes even more than we do. Already at the age of six, girls show they internalize gender stereotypes and believe that they are less “really, really smart” than boys are. This can explain some of the pressure girls feel as not being good enough to study STEAM or pursue a career in the field.
With a bit of a conscious effort, we can correct self-doubt and level out the playing field. The most important is that we free our own minds of gender stereotypes, release any assumptions we might have about girls in STEAM and meet them where they are. Here is a list to start fresh:
1/ Let your girls be girly, pink-lovers, all glitter and rainbow Disney princess fans
As a first-grader, my beloved #FlyGirl was all pink and fairytales and I — a gender expert — allowed her as many Barbie and princess stories as she wanted, under peer pressure or out of it. I have to say that pink did NO damage!
At the age of 10, she won the local maths competition, at 12 she was speaking five languages, at 16 she invented, designed & coded the prototype of a smart chair and at 18, she started aeronautical engineering.
So here is my message for all moms: pink is a beautiful colour and learning from other women (including Barbie and Disney princesses) is worthwhile! I am all in for our daughters to enjoy their many interests and say #YEStoPINK.
2/ Meet them where they are
If you have a girl who loves to draw, hike in the woods, build robots and houses on Minecraft, write and illustrate e-books, and head over heels jumps, we do too!
‘We are the lucky parents of 21st-century girls and we should meet them where they are’, say Karen Panetta and Katianne Williams in their outstanding book — ‘Count Girls In’. If we allow them to grow their authentic selves, skills and passions, that might lead them to a career in STEM. We just need to provide them with the tools that allow them to be designers and makers!
3/ Cultivate their many interests
The most important skill to have is curiosity. Asking ‘how?’ and ‘why?’ is the way to approach STEAM fields, yet research says that curiosity to know more only appears in connection to topics we know a little about. As strange as it sounds, we will never inquire about phenomena, places, or ideas we know nothing of. That’s why it is important to expose our children to a variety of topics, engage them in diverse activities, stimulate their interest and curiosity and model this thirst for knowledge to them.
In other words, to have curious girls with inquisitive minds, we should expose them as early as possible to a variety of topics and activities. Travel, regular visits to museums and exhibitions, exploratory walks in nature, drone flying, movies and books do the trick for us. Ah, and so do the talks at the dinner table!
4/ Do not expect them to be geniuses
It is unequivocally wrong to believe that only brilliant girls have a future in STEAM. There are many average boys that have successful STEAM careers, just because their parents, teachers, and the media praised them as fully capable. There’s nothing wrong with average boys. We just want equal chances for average girls and do not discard them as non-STEAM-worthy simply because they do not have outstanding maths skills. No offence to arts and humanities; I consider myself an artist at heart!
Our #FlyGirl has not been that exceptional girl spinning wheels since a baby, showing engineering stamina in her every move or getting the best marks in school. We never asked her to. We have always encouraged her to be the best she can be and never to get defeated because of a bad score on tests.
However, you also do not want poor maths skills to stand in the way, so confidence in her ability to solve basic maths and in her capacity to grow those skills — if needed! — are paramount. Most often, girls are praised for being gifted, boys for persevering and this teaches boys the valuable lesson of being determined.
5/ Above all, resilience matters the most
I would have added grit to the heading, but that is a personal, sustained-over-time, deep desire to persevere that we cannot build for our girls. It needs to come from within, where we, as parents, can only build resilience in our children. Why does it matter? One thing no one talks about when it comes to ‘girls in STEAM’ and having more ‘women in science’ is the hard work behind it.
I can give an account of the numerous hours my #FlyGirl spent toiling over maths and physics exercises. I have to bring in the countless trial and error attempts to make the Arduino-equipped smart chair prototype she designed, coded and built for her 10th-grade final project. I would not want to leave out the two years of chess classes and many chess strategy books she read before winning the girls’ and mixed girls-and-boys chess tournament in school. Last, but not least, failing the first entrance exam at her dream university. The year after, she tried again and got in! She has built this GRIT, which is far more important than any academic achievement!
In a nutshell, spend time to know your girl, grow YOUR interest in STEAM, support and cultivate her interests, encourage her to inquire, build create and pursue her dreams. You are definitely opening a wide door for a career in STEAM for her.
As always, I await your feedback with great interest. Highlight the parts that you found most interesting and leave a comment or raise a question if you want to know more.
Stay in touch, Alex
#STEAMwithME ideas and other resources
- I wrote here about ‘Count Girls In’
- You can read more on curiosity — The Psychology of Curiosity: A Review and Reinterpretations by George Loewenstein
- Read the research about ‘Gender stereotypes about intellectual ability emerge early and influence children’s interests’
