Raising our girls to be independent readers adds to their STEAM skills
but …
You have this inner drive to make your rebel girl fall in love with books [Yes, rebel! We do not want to raise obedient girls, do we?]. You’ve tried everything, yet she still treats books as delayed gratification. Later is always better!
At least, that was the case until I started to be more strategic about it. The methods I describe below seem to have worked and I am happy to see my rebel girl becoming an independent reader.
Even if reading doesn’t come highest on her agenda and I still prompt her to the books, she reads. And most importantly, she started saying she loves reading!
I hope this blog post also debunks the girls are good at reading / boys are not good at reading gender stereotype. While this stereotype indeed favours girls’ perception of their greater ability to read, it works as fulfilled prophecy for boys. Left unattended, this stereotype plummets boys’ motivation and desire to read as they start thinking reading is a girls’ thing, whereas math and science are a boys’ thing.
That, right there, is one strong deterrent for keeping girls’ interest in STEAM, but that deserves a blog post of its own.
In reality, parents complain their girls do not read enough. Is that you?
I guess these questions pop into your mind too: How come she doesn’t love reading? Would it be because she needs to stay still and read while she feels like jumping? Would it be because I am trying too hard and reading feels more like an obligation? Would it be because ‘books are not her thing’?
My girl loves reading graphic novels on her own, but for any other types of books, she finds it easier when we are reading together. Aloud. She’s just turned 11 and I feel she should have outgrown this stage. I was even wondering if she will ever do it, but two weeks before publishing this blog post, she borrowed a 260 - page novel from the school library.
Are we born readers?
Research says we become readers, yet we need the right climate and exposure. Growing as readers, we go through stages:
emerging reader — independent reader — middle-grade reader — teen reader — reader for life.
These are more linked with our reading skills rather than interests, but I find these categories useful on both accounts.
Pamela Paul and Maria Ruso, authors of ‘How to Raise a Reader’ say that reading at a young age has zero correlation to how strong of a reader a person is as an adult.
It is within our power to teach our kids the love of reading, yet we are not always successful. That’s super annoying. We are gen X moms, we get things done! Well, it turns out gen Alpha girls, born with technology in their hands, know how to set their boundaries better than we do.
No, really, what’s to be done?
I take pride in myself for not giving up easily. As you probably, I feel I’ve tried everything, and eventually, these attempts added up and started producing results.
And if there is anything we learn during parenthood is that consistency pays off. Here are some things we’ve done with our girl ever since she was a baby, and I am curious to know what else you’ve tried:
· Read books to her and with her since she was a baby. Both my husband and I.
· Played the ancient version of the audiobooks at bedtime, called ‘teatru radiofonic’ in RO, that would translate as a radio drama. Do you have those in your language?
· Every time we go back to Bucharest, the capital of our native country, we organise visits & buy books from one of the most beautiful books stores in the world — Carturesti Carusel. A trip to that bookstore is a reward in itself!
· Created an Amazon Kids account on my Kindle. It’s a cool feature, that allows you, as a parent, to assign reading time and your child to earn reading badges for reaching those goals.
· Set up a reading tent during the pandemic.
· Subscribed for library permits and organised visits to the local library. Followed up by a cup of chocolate & book reading at the nearby café.
· Adopted D.E.A.R. (Drop Everything and Read) times.
· Introduced her to my friends, who are also writers, Mihaela Cosescu and Laura Grunberg, which gifted my girl books with autographs.
· Said yes to graphic novels comic books and manga – she reads those even in Lithuanian!
· Selected books which were screened and rewarded ourselves with a movie night as soon as we finished reading the book. Our favourites were Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Matilda.
· Poured flour and kneaded the dough right on the floor, as would Pippi Longstocking, our favourite book character at the time. My little one still spins in her bed and ends up sleeping with her feet on the pillow. She laughs when she finds herself like that in the morning and says she slept like Pippi Longstocking.
· Organised book swaps with colleagues from school
· Read about Rebel Girls / Nesupusele at bedtime for two years in a row. Love the inspiring stories of women role models. I followed up with research online and some more dinner-table conversations about it.
· Started the tradition of gifting books for Christmas.
Make your reading expectations clear
It’s about time you set your own boundaries and establish them. When it comes to your girl's reading time what’s the minimum you’d expect?
For me, it’s building the habit of reading. I am making clear to my girl that I expect us (I feel we are in this together) not to fail at it.
We read one chapter from Ickabog by J.K. Rowling, just before bedtime. We take turns reading aloud one page each. I enjoy reading with her, a book, I wouldn’t otherwise read. It’s about inequalities and it’s beautifully written! Plus, the author herself said it was written to be read aloud!
This might help your girl build a reading habit
I made a STEAM chart to keep track of our reading ambitions and we add a sticker in the calendar for every day in which we read at least one chapter (it has three-four pages). Yes, there are nights we watch Netflix instead, but never two nights in a row.
From James Clear I understood that while building a new habit, you need to make it:
· Easy — it’s just three minutes of taking turns reading out loud
· Attractive — the book has beautiful illustrations, and the storytelling is fascinating. I cannot wait to see what else is happening!
· Obvious — snuggling in bed with Ickabog in our hands is our thing now.
· Satisfying — next day we add a red bullet to our STEAM Reading chart and it’s really satisfying to see the dots piling up.
So here I am with my journey of raising a rebel girl into an independent reader. If it reads more like an endeavour, in my mind it still is.
Yet, I do not let that show. I am all praise and words of encouragement for my young reader.
How do reading and STEAM connect?
The A in STEAM stands for Arts. To pursue artistic expression, our girls tap into their imagination and creativity.
Constant reading is the perfect stimulant for both.
Although many do not see the direct connection between STEAM and reading, these two are going hand in hand. Below you find just three connectors:
· Reading is part of any content area, so naturally is part of STEAM.
· Reading prompts visual thinking and that is extremely helpful in STEAM, which deals with abstract concepts, at times hard to visualise and feel.
· Reading boosts creativity, exploration, and imagination, also deemed essential skills for STEAM.
· STEAM is guided by inquiry, and so is reading. Asking and answering questions is how we get the meaning of the texts we read.
What do you think?
Since reading is an issue of complaint for many of us [parents of girls too!], I would love to hear:
Where do you feel stuck on your reading journeys?
What have you tried and feel worked?
How does using a reading chart to build up the reading habit sound to you?
Stay in touch, Alex
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#STEAMwithME ideas and other resources
Wrote about raising Alpha Generation children here
James Clear on delayed gratification. On his blog, you can read all about growing Atomic Habits
J. K. Rowling about Ickabog, a political fairytale commented in this BBC article
More on ‘How to raise a reader’ by Pamela Paul and Maria Russo from the New York Times Review
Amazon Kids + I guess needs no introduction. I recommend investing in a Kindle or any other type of e-reader, which allows you to take notes and access the dictionary on the device.
Reading and STEAM go both ways. You can also improve your reading skills via STEAM activities. Read more here
The book ‘How to raise a reader’ recommends books per reading skill level and you can also find many books on A Mighty Girl website
Girls can’t do math. Boys can’t read — a CNN article about gender stereotypes on reading is must read for any parent
Read here about ways to integrate literacy and STEAM
The STEAM reading chart is one idea for keeping track of reading habits. A reading journal would be another one to try out.
