Kris — Just want to say thank you for the articles you have written. Everyday I look forward to reading your latest one. Your writing has really helped me process a previous relationship. For the first time I’m learning what love actually is and realizing how long I’ve “loved” for the wrong reasons. I’m so grateful for the work you have done.
I have a few questions after reading your articles:
- Is love enough for a relationship to work? Are there differences between what qualifies to love someone vs what qualifies for a relationship to work? By your definition of love (completely selfless and loving one for their very being), if both parties love each other in your truest definition, then it seems like issues in money, sex, emotional stability wouldn’t be an issue at all, if you’re loving each other selflessly. At the same time, if you love yourself completely and are as independent of a person as you suggest you should be a relationship, then those issues listed above also seem like like they wouldn’t be issues. But at what point do you draw the line between loving someone unconditionally, and the issues being too much for the relationship to work?
- What are some appropriate reasons to actually want to be in a relationship? Every reason I can think of is selfish. Also what should be the purpose of a relationship. What should be its end goal?
- By your definition of love, it seems like in theory it should be possible to love anyone because you’re loving people selflessly and not for the sake of what you can get out of it. Does this mean you should love everyone? Should you still love people that hurt/disrespect you?
- Are there differences between love between a couple (dating or married) and love between friends? Does loving your significant other get held with more importance than loving your friend. If so, then how do you decide that prioritization without having to choose based on selfish needs?
I’m 25, male, and single. Thanks!