“Lock Her Up” Is About You Too, Sweetheart

Perhaps Trump’s most popular campaign promise was to “Lock Her Up.” It was so popular and so much a part of his campaign, the NY Times actually published a “Room for Debate” on whether or not Obama should pardon Hillary for her “crimes” in order to somehow stave off the spectacle of the Pantsuit Maverick show-trial, because, you know, a Salem-style witch burning would be bad for the country and all that. The Times obviously had a great deal of difficulty finding legal scholars who would legitimize this bizarre exercise in preventing a repeat of Salem because only two agreed to be involved. Nevertheless, the fact that this Room for Debate got published at all shows me that perhaps some Americans don’t understand what “Lock Her Up” was about.

In case it isn’t already abundantly clear to everyone, James Comey did not bring a criminal case against Hillary Clinton for using email because there simply wasn’t a case to be brought, at least, not based on the laws of the United States as written. Case closed. Was it wrong for Hillary Clinton to use her personal email instead of her work email? I think we’ve adequately debated the morality of email use for one year. Is there some sort of crime related to the Clinton Foundation? How should I know? But if “Clinton Cash” is your only evidence, I’ll remind you that the film and book were paid for, and partly written, by Steve Bannon. It’s also become pretty clear since the election that Trump himself doesn’t believe Hillary Clinton committed any actual crimes (meaning things contained in statutes and law books) and has, in fact, praised the Clinton Foundation, an “A” rated charity. And regardless of what oversights might be buried on page 375 of the Clinton Foundation’s tax filings, anyone who still thinks Republicans are actually concerned with legal technicalities and rule of law should be dissuaded from that opinion by now.

So what was “Lock Her Up” really about? It’s not about Hillary as an individual person, it’s a warning to white women that stepping out of line has serious consequences. Being a white woman in America is about being kept safe by white men as long as you follow “the Rules.” There’s even an entire book called “the Rules” in case any white woman wasn’t already clear about what they are. I urge everyone in the #Resistance who hasn’t already read “the Rules” to run out and get a copy. It will explain “Lock Her Up” better than just about anything else out there in print. To summarize, “the Rules” is a handbook for white women explaining the expectations of white men. Running for President isn’t in there, needless to say. White women who refuse to follow “the Rules” are a danger to Trump’s America. They are the tall poppies who will be cut down from the field, believe it, folks, believe it.

More specifically, “Lock Her Up” is about abortion, because white women who kill off the master race are white women who have committed the worst possible crime and should do the time. If abortion is murder, shouldn’t women who abort be put in jail for life? Or maybe they should go to the chair? And since Hillary Clinton ran to the left of any mainstream Democrat in history on the subject of abortion, she is now the poster child for the anti-abortion backlash. Trump voters see immigrants and black women pumping out welfare babies, while working white feminists like Hillary are putting on pantsuits and only having one child. Or refusing to reproduce at all! And any white supremacist who doesn’t see the intersection between race and reproduction simply hasn’t been paying attention.

As D. L. Hughley points out, Trump voters are willing to put up with anything as long as he delivers on his promise to give the country back to the white, conservative fundamentalists that make up much of his base. Trump can grab as much pussy as he wants in his own life, he can collude, lie, cheat, steal and sell the whole country to the Russians, just as long as he makes sure the white babies keep on coming. (Hughley is more right than he perhaps realizes by picking a baby metaphor from the bible as his example of the Trump supporter mentality.)

So when Donald Trump shouts “Lock Her Up!” he’s not really talking about Hillary, white ladies, he’s talking about *you*. So go out and buy a copy of “the Rules” because that’s the America that you are living in, believe me, folks, believe me. And if you think the Democrats are coming to save you if the villagers with torches come to drag you out by your hair and light you on fire, well dream on. So snuggle into the couch in your yoga pants with a hot mug of tea and watch the Handmaid’s Tale, a story about all the brave American men who stood up for a woman’s right to choose like the movies always teach us nice white men do for pretty, little white women. But you might want to get some seatbelts installed in that-there couch, because as another mouthy white woman once said, “it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

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