devlog July 22
As I sit here, reflecting on the past quarter, I’m reminded of the wise words of Eric S. Raymond: “Every good work of software starts by scratching a developer’s personal itch.” My itch, it seems, has been a persistent sense of insomnia and anxiety, fueled by the uncertainty of my financial runway and the elusive nature of paid opportunities.
My investment in Open Source and online work has led to a Catch-22 situation, where I’m unable to fully commit to teaching kite students, resulting in a meager $150 earned over the past three months. The irony is not lost on me — I’m stuck in a cycle of free work, with potential clients citing performance issues when it comes to hiring. It’s a frustrating paradox, and one that I’m still grappling with.
On the brighter side, my Rust streaming project has yielded a surprising outcome — my most-read article on Medium. Rust, it seems, is hot, and I’m grateful to have been a part of its ecosystem. Big thanks here to Francis and Jay from JFI for the opportunity to work on ABMs in renewable energy transition forecasting.
In the midst of this chaos, I’ve found solace in exploring ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution) and its magical properties. It’s a fascinating topic, but one that I fear may not be widely recognized or appreciated. My soft skills, I wonder, will they be enough to carry me through?
Here’s a rewritten paragraph that incorporates the provided quotes and ideas:
As I delve into the realm of Decentralized Identity, I’m reminded that identity is not just a fixed concept, but a dynamic and multifaceted entity that’s shaped by both personal and societal forces. As MIT’s 15.s13 lecture notes aptly put it, “Identity is not just who you are, but also how society accepts you.” This notion resonates deeply with me, as I continually challenge and reexamine established truths through my work, embracing the fluidity and nuance of human experience.
In this context, Slavoj Žižek’s words come to mind: “each subject must, without any support from universal rules, build his own mode of self-mastery; he must harmonize the antagonism of the powers within himself — invent himself, so to speak, produce himself as subject, find his own particular art of living.” This idea of self-invention and self-mastery is particularly relevant in the digital age, where our online personas and identities are constantly evolving and intersecting with our real-life selves.
As I navigate the complexities of Decentralized Identity, I’m struck by the parallels between online and offline identities. The concept of “windowing” — as described by Anne Sisson Runyan and V. Spike Peterson — where individuals can seamlessly switch between different online personas and identities, resonates with my own experiences. It’s a reminder that our identities are not fixed, but rather a collection of fragmented selves that we navigate and curate across different contexts. By acknowledging and embracing this multiplicity, we can begin to build more authentic and decentralized identities that reflect the complexities of our human experience.
The past three months have been spent separate from my parents, and it’s been a reminder of their expectations versus the harsh realities of the world. I’m torn between trying to meet their standards and forging my own path. My cousin’s situation, having to leave Belgorod for a backwater town in Krasnodar region, serves as a stark reminder of the importance of prioritizing a healthy lifestyle and finding a sense of purpose.
In the midst of all this, I’ve been devouring books — “Authentic Being” and “Supercommunicators” being two notable mentions. The 10/10/10 rule and the concept of matching expectations to find better connections have been particularly insightful. “Children of the Alley” gives a vivid vision of life in MENA, while “Sublime Object of Ideology” is a difficult read due to vast context.
As I look to the future, I’m aware of the impending Catalyst event and the uncertainty that surrounds it. I yearn for leadership and direction, but it seems that everyone is a burnt-out leader in this space. My spiritual mindset tells me to listen to the world and my inner child, but it’s a constant battle to stay focused and motivated.
The war rages on, and I fear for the future. People believe that acquiring land will bring them happiness, but I’m not convinced.
As I close out this quarter, I’m left with more questions than answers. How do I cultivate patience in the face of uncertainty? How do I earn my freedom? And what food will make me feel good right now?
In the Abusrd, I hack the MUD
Foregone by the Aspirations I embody.
Being is a fleeting moment of purpose
shaped by the ripples it creates
