I was struggling with a response to your post. I have so many emotions — I’m struggling to contain them. I guess I never learned to provide for myself emotionally — perhaps you could help me? In all seriousness your article is condescending and offensive to men. Your generalizations about men are untrue and fail to address the root issue you identified in your first paragraph.
The fact that you fail to take responsibility for your life is perhaps the reason you’re struggling so much with your relationships with men. You and your friend go out on a date (or non-date) and get pass-out drunk — you both made the decision to drink so much that you can barely remember the incident. Then you may or may not have been making out with your friend — the one you’re not attracted to — you both made the decision to have a drunken make out session (maybe). Then your friend inserts his finger into your vagina and suddenly you’re offended — you suggest that HE should have been responsible for knowing you weren’t attracted to him.
The world you describe in your post is one where men have a greater responsibility than women for their actions — this is the sort of world where women have no power. I have no idea if your friend was a rapist — perhaps he was. The reality is that regardless of that fact, you both were responsible for what happened. When you gather the courage to admit this to yourself is the moment you’ll realize just how powerful you are. You’re not at the mercy of a capitalist society that somehow keeps you barefoot and pregnant and unpaid.