THE SURFBOARD THAT SAVED A BOATING INDUSTRY.

For those of you who already knew, the boating industry has been rebounding from a 7 year slump of poor people who can’t afford boats. Tough shit right? But what you might not have known was no person, or entity saved this industry single handedly. The job was fit only for the surf board and I don’t mean your grandfather’s surf board. No child, I mean the Kelly Slater tummy stick, the nar nar crusher, the shred stick, the surf board!

“Alex, do you mean to tell me boats and surfing sing in the same choir?”

“Yes you land loving analogy chasing creep. People have been surfing behind boats for years!”

And if you didn’t know that then welcome to the club! The club of badasses who know everything about anything also known as ‘anyeverything’.

See what happened was a terrible mistake. An economic crisis totally meant for someone else befell the land of debt-ridden America, next thing you know people stopped buying boats they couldn’t afford in the first place and Wala! Boat Industry Crisis. After we had enough of that we picked ourselves up from our own over priced Tom’s Shoe straps and we tried doing the hipster thing by reliving the good old days of surfing but with an American twist.

You see America doesn’t need those dolphin loving hippie waves, no, we can create our own damn waves, and jobs to go with em! And not the jobs foreign nationals can take away from us but real American jobs like professional bowling.

As the story goes one guy started surfing behind a boat and then everyone started doing it. In fact, it became so cool people couldn’t help themselves and started buying more boats…end boating crisis☺

Next thing ya know the boating manufactures heard all about the surf gossip from Cindy on the 3rd floor during Friday’s trust fall exercise and they started spitting out well engineered surf boats that rivaled Space X’s Grasshopper.

Story in short, boating was saved by a flat wooden tummy stick or was it? Nay, behind all the hype was the indistinguishable desire for us humans to return to the water, which for the past millennia has given us life and been a cure-all for our stress filled lives. The boating industry was saved simply because people missed the water, and wakesurfing or landlocking as it is called, was a great channel for us to get back out there.

I wrote this article because I was tired of hearing about wake-surfing being this beautiful unicorn that saved the boating industry from that water cooler loving bitch Cindy.