How Belonging Uncertainty Is Affecting Your Performance
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And why quiet-quitting might not be the answer.
Find a handy infographic at the end of the article.
Throughout history, social connections and group membership have been critical for survival, so it is natural to question whether we fit in new environments. Warranted or not, we wonder whether we belong to the group: smart enough? Hard-working enough? Good enough? Or maybe we notice that we’re different from the group somehow and worry about how standing out will affect us.
This experience of questioning whether we belong, or ever could, is known as belonging uncertainty.
Suppose you experience a long period of belonging uncertainty — continuously worrying about whether you fit in. In that case, the primitive part of your brain begins to register a threat to your safety — no group membership = no survival. This subconscious process greatly affects how we feel about ourselves and our environment. Over time, the body understands the consistent threat as insurmountable, and we feel powerless. As a result, our mind adapts to accept the circumstances, and we internalise the idea that we don’t belong.
At work, belonging uncertainty is something we will all experience, and can have disastrous consequences. For instance, imagine your boss is constantly over-critical at work. Over time you might understandably accept the thinking that no matter how hard you work, it won’t be recognised.
However, this is where belonging uncertainty can critically affect performance. Once we feel powerless in our environments in this way, we also disengage. You feel your boss won’t recognise your work — so you stop working hard. You might feel mentally checked out, not want to engage with colleagues or quiet-quit. Overall performance falls. And while I don’t personally moralise people’s productivity (screw capitalism), it is fair to say that this cycle isn’t pleasant for you to experience. No one wants to feel demotivated at work.
Our sense of belonging in school and at work has been shown to directly affect academic grades, performance, and mental wellbeing.
Recently ‘quiet-quitting’ has been promoted in the media as a solution to burnout. The idea being that in an oppressive work environment, the answer is to just mentally check out (so you can keep getting paid). But in this context, you can see how quiet-quitting is an example of accepting powerlessness under threat.
In some scenarios, it may of course be the only acceptable or possible solution. And for some it may be the most empowering option. But quiet-quitting where you feel you don’t belong is likely to continue to take a psychological toll. The effect of the threat is never directly addressed.
We need to remember how seriously our bodies take the threat of not belonging.
Once we bring awareness to the cycle of belonging uncertainty and its effects on our performance, we can reclaim lost autonomy. Quiet-quitting is one option, but actively fostering our sense of belonging is another. If the threat is too great (i.e. the environment sucks) it’s in our best interests to leave and prioritise our psychological safety. It’s easy to stay far too long in harmful environments once in the cycle of powerlessness.
If on the other hand, you want to feel better in a certain environment, you can proactively increase your sense of belonging to support your wellbeing, autonomy, and performance.
Relationships define belonging — it cannot occur without the context of others. So genuine relationship building is vital. Fostering friendships, networking, and mentorship relationships will help build security in the environment and lower the threat of belonging uncertainty. The key here is genuine — you can’t trick the brain into believing fake relationships. Quality over quantity, if you’re that way inclined.
The other aspect is self-soothing the belonging uncertainty. We are often quick to self-blame if we are uncertain about our place in an environment, commodifying belonging as something we personally lack. But as mentioned, belonging can only occur in context and is not a reflection of self. It’s a fluid and changeable sense that constantly evolves. Reminding ourselves of this can help soothe the anxiety and prevent chronic belonging uncertainty from dictating our behaviours.
It’s important to note that people with marginalised identities are particularly at risk for these experiences, as lack of representation and discriminatory practices cause increased belonging uncertainty.
However we approach it, it is helpful to acknowledge that our feelings about belonging at work, school, or in any group affect how we behave. Of course, we don’t always have control over our environments. People with marginalised identities in particular should be supported in managing belonging uncertainty. Still, we can reclaim some of our power by bringing these psychological processes into our awareness and choosing what to do with them.
