Death of the WhatsApp Sage

Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.

Said Dumbledore, one of the main characters in the Harry Potter series; he was a man of wisdom and girth. He believed that all you had to do to receive help from others was to simply seek it. In today’s world of interwoven wired lives, all one needs to do to receive some deep wisdom is to login to the social networking site of one’s preference — Ah, those perfect scenic pictures with motivational texts plastered across in beautiful calligraphy. Those pouts which managed to combine #aboutLastNight and #saturdayNights with philosophical quotes about friendship(real craftsmanship). The wanderer who would upload innumerable pictures of his two wheeler, perfectly set up against the sunset; the caption telling us how we need to experience the villages of India and allow the rustic environment fill our senses in whole (The picture with just the helmet on the bike of course, having himself in the frame on the bike would simply not be mysterious enough). Apologies, I almost forgot — #shotOniPhone.

Wisdom will always be given in social media to everyone, doesn’t matter if you asked for it or no.

That’s the new status quo. Welcome to social media.

In between this ocean of pristine and honest wisdom which spurts out highly original quotes stands a man alone. He allows his users just one chance at wisdom. He calls himself - WhatsApp and he calls this single chance at wisdom - the status message.

This place is not for minions trying to share ready made wisdom. It is a level up. This is for the serious kind and it is a serious business as it gives you just one shot at showering your Buddha wisdom on others. One shot and you got to make sure your status message is vague enough for the others to message you and ask — Bruh, what does your status mean? Tell me bruh? Bruh, you there?

There are rules to the game though, be too clear and you have already lost the upper hand. It needs to be at the fine line of making sense and words just thrown around. Heck, you can even just use emoticons, but be sure, it should not be too clear or you have lost the game. The status needs to reflect your inner conflicts, your political rights and how you are shredding it at the gym(insert dumbbell emoticon). The rookies at this game try their hand at quoting random lyrics from songs. e.g.- Ground control to major tom. And why not? It works like magic. This 5 word status manages to get together military(?), someone trying to reach out to Tom(?), where is ground control(?), is ground control his wife(?), wait, so…is Tom in trouble(?).

Vague? check. Deep? Hell yeah! Welcome - Bruh, what does your status mean? Tell me bruh? Bruh, you there?

The veterans at this game understand their audience well, they make you put in effort even before you reach out to them. They want to reel you in like a little shrimp. Their status will be in an exotic language- Que sera, sera. (Nope, this post will not tell you what that means, look it up. Yeah, sweat for it, peasant!)

However, the WhatsApp sage is now out of business. The application got a version bump up and the almighty decided that you shalt now share thy wisdom in images. There is no option for a text based status message any more, you can only have images as your status. WhatsApp was a strong young man, but he gave in to peer pressure and now allows his users to share wisdom via images all through the day. No more - one shot - one chance - at wisdom. Where is real glory when there are no stakes? Where is the creative side to people? Blasphemy.

Que sera, sera.

PS. I am guilty to all the above. Also, do listen to Space Oddity (Ground control to major tom).

EDIT: Looks like WhatsApp has given heed to public outrage. They have brought back the text based status message, while maintaining the image based stories too.
They have upped the game and the WhatsApp sage is ready for shooting out his wisdom again, but this time the sage has two options to choose from.