Someone talk me out of it

Alex Klar
Alex Klar
Sep 3, 2018 · 3 min read

I think I need to write a book. That, or do reality TV. I’ve been on some philosophical shit for a while (since birth maybe?) and it’s time to consolidate the notes in my phone, my screenshots of humans of new york instagram posts, my excel file of book quotes, this blog thing, and whatever else I can find in the confines of my mind (side note: how do I access my deleted finsta?).

Given the context of the contents, you’d think I would be writing an inspirational self help book. “What I’ve learned so far in life” by Alexander Klar, but I can’t help any of you. Your life is your problem, and I probably don’t have the answers anyway.

No, I think my book will be a literaturización (literaturization? the word doesn’t exist in english but it definitely exists in spanish, interesting) of my bi-weekly 3am college epiphanies. You know, when you have been drinking boxed wine since 9pm and suddenly, after exhausting the aux and regressing to Spotify’s Are & Be playlist, you confer with your best friends that life isn’t so complicated. You’ve got it all figured out. We are young, wild, and free.

Ok so let’s put a pin in that.

Coupled with this feeling, I think I will also articulate the bi-weekly 3:30am college swarms of existential dread. You know, when the shot of tequila finally hits after your 30 minutes of epiphany and you realize that life is a pit of never ending sadness and we will never escape the cycle of having to go grocery shopping and the american university system is a scam and we all will surmount to nothing.

So it’ll be a mix of those two things. Mostly grappling with the idea that we, as young people in this day and age, are so stressed out. For what? But also, although we need to relax and breathe, we should try to stay motivated and affect change, because we can do it! But it’s not everything! We can change the world! But don’t hold yourself to such high standards because it’s not your job to change the world! You get the idea.

It’s like how we, at this age, are trying to elevate our conversations to be on the same echelon as Aristotle or Audrey Lorde. But, news flash, we ain’t shit.

We’re just slowly getting our bearings still. And we will be doing so for the rest of our lives. I discover new freckles on my body everyday. So why are we trying to be as authoritative and enlightened as Audrey and Ari when what we SHOULD be is authentic.

Confidence is great but the thing I’m most sure about is I don’t know what I’m doing. 100% faking it till I make it. But at the same time don’t push it! Don’t force yourself to be something you’re not! You see my dilemma.

So let’s just admit to ourselves, frequently, that we just need someone to talk to like 24/7 to drunkenly debrief the life that’s happening around us.

Like I said, I don’t expect to teach anyone anything. I really don’t have many original ideas. Most of this will be plagiarism probably, in some form or another. But, as I’ve realized in writing this blog, we all have a lot more to say if someone would just ask.

I can’t be the only yopro (*tear drips down my face as I realized I can’t say college student any more*) with this much on his mind. Actually, remembering back to my 3am college conversations, I know for a fact I’m not the only one with a lot on his mind. So let’s talk about it. In a book.

Alex Klar

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Alex Klar

instagram: @cafedeconscientizacao