A Year After Graduating High School

On the first page of every Choose Your Own Adventure book is a warning that reads: “You will be asked to make a choice. Your choice may lead to success or disaster! The adventures you take are a result of your choice. Remember, you cannot go back! Think carefully before you make a move!” This quote was probably written in invisible ink on the back of my high school diploma.

In high school I was utterly confused about what program I wanted to get into in university so knowing me I took every course imaginable to keep my options open. I was enrolled in just about every subject from calculus to creative writing but was by no means a star student. Biology and English were by far my favourite subjects but both were completely disassociated from one another.

I had no idea what to get into so I looked to others for guidance. Of course my parents told me to pursue my studies in the realm of medicine or law. Although I was completely intrigued by biology my teacher told me to pursue something else every time I got a mark below 80. I was stuck in a rut, feeling like I wasn’t particularly good at anything.

I began to get overwhelmed by the number of courses I was taking; five courses during school hours, one in the evening, a Saturday class, night school, an online course, and yes, they were all in one semester. My Logic was to keep my options open in the hope that it will pay off in the future. You know, just in case I suddenly changed my mind from wanting to become an engineer to a journalist. However, with such a heavy course load triggered a great onset of stress and anxiety that transferred into my first year of university. I began to think it was “normal” to put so much on my plate, and so I did.

November of 2016 I applied to both the St.George Campus for Life Sciences and UTM for sociology and was accepted to both, but decided on UTM. First semester was a difficult, yet vital transition because it was the period in my life that I learned that I was a separate entity from my parents, my friends, and my professors. I learned that it was time to make my own decisions. To be quite honest, it terrified me. My life started to branch out like a long, never ending constellation jaggedly twisting and turning, with no major stars to connect the lines. Did I want to become an architect? A writer? A doctor? Did I even want to go to school?

Despite being enrolled in the sociology program, I took a leap and decided to transfer into the Life Sciences stream to eventually pursue biochemistry and one day become a dermatologist. This is what I want right now, I like my program and am finally comfortable with my course load. But who knows, one of these days I might change my mind again.