& I doubt I was his first.
My mind and vision became rubberised, expanding then contracting, opening then closing, like some kind of psychedelic elevator door, akin to being trapped inside in a Dali painting.
I had landed my dream job at 25, State Sales Manager, for a water treatment company. The job came with a company car and a car phone (a big deal back in the day) But things were funky from the start, if I’d been more astute and less naive I may have seen the signs…but i didn’t.
Sign #1: I was underqualified, I’d sent my resume in but never expected to hear back from them. The next thing I know, the National Sales Manager, let’s call him Russell, (because that’s the bastards’ name) called me and told me I had the job!
Sign #2: During that phone call Russel asked me if I was handsome or at least “not ugly”. He asked me if I had acne scars, birthmarks, big nose etc.
Anyway, I fly down to the National Headquarters for a meet and greet then orientation, pick up the car and so on. I spent a day with another young man who likewise was a State Sales Manager.
Sign #3? This guy told me, “at first I hated Russell, but I ended up making him my best man”
I drove back home to Sydney and set about building their business and my career.
Sign #4: Russell begins to reprimand me for anything and everything. I didn’t understand it in my 20’s but I do now. It was manipulation, gaslighting, a powerplay meant, to put me on the back foot and keep me there.
We landed a big contract in a country town and so I drove down and met the bastard there.
Him & I are driving around this country town getting our bearings, when Russell elbows me and points to an attractive 20 something girl walking down the street. I give a glance her way, (just to keep Russell happy) as he comments on her bra size.
Sign #5: Russell says “ You could pull that…why don’t I stop the car and let you out?… invite her back to your hotel room”.
I’m genuinely shocked, “I’m married Russell!” I say.
“So what?” he says.
“I couldn’t do that to my wife”.
“She’ll never know…it’s a business trip”
“I’m a Christian, Russell…it’s not going to happen!”
“Suit yourself”.
We went back to the hotel. Russell tells me we have 6:00 pm reservations at the Motel restaurant but rather than meet him there, he wants me to come to his room first. The restaurant is no more than 50 metres (55 yards) from our rooms, why not just meet there, but whatever.
I get to Russell’s room at 5:55 pm and knock on the door, “hang on a minute” he yelled. There’s thumping and bumping in the room, “just give me a moment”. I laughed to myself as I imagined him cleaning up his room and throwing on his clothes. I’m left waiting several minutes. Russell finally answered the door…In his underpants
Sign #6: IN HIS UNDERPANTS! His Y fronts, his undies, his Reg Grundies!
I’m thinking, “what was he doing before he opened the door!?”
Sign #7: He keeps me in the room for an hour and the whole time he stays in his undies.
Turns out dinner was at 7 “I told you that!” He says in a condescending tone
“I’m sorry Russell, I was sure you said 6”
Russell calls his wife and daughter (still in his undies) whilst I’m waiting in the room.
Sign #8: This call reeked of fakeness, it was like watching a bad actor playing the role of husband and father. “Is he putting this show on for me…or them?” I thought to myself.
Russell tells me he didn’t get married till well into his forties. He’d married a mail order bride from India, he said she couldn’t speak much English and that’s why he had to control the finances as well as all running of the household.
Sign #9: He tells me he was raised in boarding school from years 1 to 12, left there & then did 22 years in the Navy.
Sign #10: He asked me if I wanted to share a spa bath with him. The rooms didn’t have hot tubs, just standard size bathtubs that blow some bubbles up your date, “We’ll get some beers, it’ll be great!”
I’m thinking to myself “This guy doesn’t realise how gay he looks!” sitting in his Reg Grundies, asking me if I wanted to take a bath with him… Did I mention how naive I was? I do not now, nor have I ever, had a working “gaydar”.
We finally get to the restaurant. Russell insists I have a beer, I insist on Coke. Russell orders me a beer, I cancel the order & Russell is pissed off
“It’s a business trip”, he says, again.
“I don’t drink, Russell”.
“No one will ever know!”.
Our meals and drinks arrive.
Russell points behind me and says “look at that!” I give a quick glance, thinking he wants me to check out the waitress but I quickly flick my head back and say “I don’t see anything”
Sign #11: “Turn back around and take a good long look, watch the clock above the countertop, keep watching until you see it”.
“Keep watching”.
“Keep watching”.
After a minute I say, “I can’t see it, what am I looking for?”,
“Doesn’t matter”,he says, “let’s eat”.
What was that about?, I thought to myself, as i took a long thirst quenching gulp of Coke, (& probably Rohypnol).
Not long into the meal I begin to feel very strange, I wonder if maybe the steak is off.
Sign #12: My mind and vision became rubberised, expanding then contracting, opening then closing, like some kind of psychedelic elevator door, akin to being trapped inside in a Dali painting.
I was a big time stoner in my teen years and I’d even dropped Acid — LSD several times, so I realised I’d been drugged. By who and with what, I had no idea. I pushed my hands into my lap and stared at them.
“Are you alright?”, the bastard asked.
“I think the steak’s off!”, I mumbled.
I was thinking to myself, “this isn’t fair, I’m not drinking and I haven’t taken anything illicit in years”.
I prayed a silent prayer, I needed help, I was embarrassing myself in front of my new boss.
“God, you’ve got to help me here, I’ve done nothing wrong, I don’t know what’s happening to me.”
I no longer profess Christianity but I’d be lying if I said that prayer didn’t work. I spent a few more moments with my head down, but then, my mind cleared…totally! I knew I was going to be alright.
I lifted my head back up, I looked Russell in the eye, then continued to eat my steak, drink my Coke and talk business like nothing ever happened.
Sign #13: Now Russell was confused but it didn’t take him long to recommence the verbal powerplay and the gaslighting. He was confused and angry. That night the bastard gives me an ultimatum, he gives me 24hrs to make a life changing decision.
Before I took the job, I’d made it abundantly clear I wouldn’t miss a Church service for work. I understood not every company could work with that “Let me know now, before I take the job, if that’s a problem” I told the owner of the company, Russell was there as well. “Not a problem” The owner says “we’re religious men ourselves, we understand”.
Sign #14: Russell sacked me the next morning (just 10hrs later) for refusing to miss Church.
Sign #15: As I’m driving home, Russell calls the police & reports my company car stolen.
As I said before I’m very naive…but it’s a long drive home and as I contemplate Signs #1–14
I realised, I’ve been drugged by my boss — the bastard roofied me!
20 years later I’m at a trade show and there’s the big boss (The religious man) and two others, a man and a woman manning a booth. I give him my 5 cents worth, a real gob full, telling him what I think of him, his company and his National Sales Manager. After that I stormed off.
The woman followed me and stopped me for a conversation, she had my old job. She genuinely seemed to enjoy my rant, she asked me a few questions then, after that, dropped a bombshell on me.
“Russell’s dead…AIDS!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Homosexual rape is a huge problem that mostly goes unreported, everyone just wants to sweep it under the carpet and look the other way. I was inspired by a very brave man to write about this event in my life.
Read his story here:
I love youse all
Lorko
If you liked this story you might also want to read my story on Sydney's Gay Murders.
https://medium.com/@alexlorkin/sydneys-gay-murders-243731fc1840
