United Airlines — This is how you make it go away:

I assume that by now everyone knows the PR disaster United Airlines is going through for the past couple of days. If you don’t, check out this video. I guess, all in all, a couple of million people saw how United Airlines treated a passenger having a valid ticket. The problem originated with United overbooking the flight and surprise, people didn’t want to get off because well, they had a valid ticket. Not their problem to solve right? Right, however, United chose to deal with the situation Rocky style:

via Internet. Loved it.

Looking back at the aftermath I guess United would have been better off to just pay 10,000$ on the spot to each of the passangers. Really. Taking into consideration the PR disaster and the drop in share price that accounts for ~$250 million in losses, I’d say United just pretty much shot itself in the foot.

Anyway, what’s done is done. Water under the bridge. What now? If I were CEO of United and I would wakeup living this nightmare, how would I fix it? (btw, Oscar Munoz, your initial public statement was a complete dissapointment. “We will investigate?” Really? Ntt, ntt, ntt.)

Step 1. Go on public TV and cry. Literally cry. Tell the person that just got beat up and dragged outside of your airplane by your employees that you literally wish it were you instead of him. And cry like a baby.

Step 2. Public execution of those employees of yours.

Step3. Public plan to correct overbookings.I haven’t heard of these “habits” being used in Europe but then again I fly KLM and everyone knows that KLM rocks. #KLM. So, draw a plan to never again overbook your flights and publish progress and results. On TV. On Twitter. Everywhere. Publicly show how you improved this process.

Step4. Avoid a trial. Pay the man as much as he asks for. In $ or free flights, don’t care, just make the problem go away.

Step5. Personally invite all the passengers of that flight (on your own expense) to go anywhere they want to. All inclusive. Make that problem go away.

Step6. Start a public campaign where United Airlines tells everyone how sorry they are. Call it #wewishweweredeadsorry. Don’t care. Just give discounts, make baby wipes, but make sure EVERYONE out there knows how sorry you are.

How does that sound?