Travel Brings Guidance
I’m starting to appreciate all the opportunities that I’ve had to travel.
Before, I would sometimes complain about it.
I would wish that I could stay in one place and just set my roots and build something. I’ve tried to stay in one place for longer time. But it never works. There’s like an urge to move. That’s how I am. And I can’t suppress it anymore. I just have to be me. Yeah, sometimes I travel to escape from some things that might benefit me in the long run.
But in the end, all this travelling has brought me guidance.
I’ve learnt what I love to do.
I love to edit videos that have some kind of stories.
I hate to edit videos when I don’t have a certain purpose.
But the one second I find a purpose/vision, I’m lit!
I get into a nice flow and life is good again.
I’ve spent these last 6 months focusing on creating music.
While creating music I started creating videos to match with my music. I took up an old passion of mine. Video editing.
I had a struggle. Music or Video? Or both? So I started doing both. But I wasn’t feeling good. As usually, I was focusing on more things. And life got trickier. There’s just not enough time to to two things.
This thought struck to my mind: “Jack of all trades, master of none”. In Latin it’s even more beautiful: “Johannes factotum” (“Johnny do-it-all”).
It has always been a positive/negative side of mine. I wanna do it all.
I wanna do it all by myself. Do it yourself has always been a guiding phrase these last years. Maybe I’m afraid of working with other people? Maybe.
But with time it gets lonely. I started believing in the power of collaborations and especially in the brilliance of putting all your efforts in the talents that nature has bestowed upon you.
I feel that video editing comes natural to me. Maybe it’s because of the thousands of hours spent watching cartoons on Super Rtl (German Tv Channel)? Maybe all those millions of scenes and cuts to other scenes are still somewhere in my subconscious? Those were good times.
I would come back from school and go directly to the sofa to watch every cartoon possible until late (I would also go out and play in the park for other eternal hours). In school I would then create stories in my mind and do silly/funny stuff with friends. One think that has become clear (looking back at my childhood) is that I’ve always loved to entertain.
As a little kid in elementary school I would always make my friends laugh. They would lough so baldy that one teacher once ordered them, secretively, not to laugh at my jokes/imitations anymore.
By getting older/school getting tougher/changes in family life/scary teachers, I started losing that natural happy personality. I was always an entertainer somehow but at the age of 14–15–16 things started getting darker and darker. At 16 I reached my lowest point and the scary thing is that no one notices these kind of things. They are tremendous from inside. But the world just doesn’t notice or doesn’t have time to cheer someone up.
But fortunately I was born with a very optimistic mind. Even if depressed I always had one thing. Hope. Hope that things could be better again.
I had had the best childhood ever and I knew how life could be beautiful.
If only I could learn to appreciate life like a kid again.
So, from 16 years old to where I’m now (23 years) there have been many struggles and new experiences that have somehow brought me closer to my natural me.
I had such a low self-esteem but then I got stronger and stronger. I explored/took up new passions/travelled/tried acting/modelling and so much more. I opened up to the world again. And the world is really a fantastic place!!
Now, things aren’t still so sure. I’m always afraid that I will change my mind in some hours. But this time it’s different. I’m really convinced about this thing that you have to put all of your energy in your natural talents.
So, I’m just doing it now.
Hitting up people for collabs/opportunities to edit more videos/create more stories!