From the top of my ivory tower

It was raining in sin-city, just a frozen-in-time replay of that exact moment when the first raindrops begin to fall, and her thoughts were dark and transgressive like the glass-paper sky, but you see, to an atheist, one of the biggest sins is not being true to yourself.

Trouble is, everyone thinks they have so much time.

Nobody dies regretting they haven’t spent enough time building defenses around their ivory tower of emotional safety and loneliness. Scars are just a moment’s footprints in the sands of time. Trust again. Trust better. Life is a gamble with chaos. Stop barking at the moon and deal.

No mind spent its final moments regretting it didn’t invest enough time in worrying about what other minds think of its body. Be as healthy as you can get, but be free from the Procrustes bed of self-abuse that is obsessing over what your genes did not make you. We’re just a colony of cells that have adapted to living together in the shape of a human in order to secure increased chances of survival. Chill the frell out.

No higher-reason-invested creature ever drew its last breath thinking it could have spent more time doing work they hated and experiencing uneasiness over a future that might not come. Life is a one-disaster-at-a-time undertaking.

We can live and die at full peace with the consequences of our actions. It’s the consequences of our inactions that we end-up repenting. Be fair and honest, but allow yourself to be viciously selfish when that’s the only way.

Nobody dies regretting not having spent more time making-up excuses for themselves and making difficult stuff seem impossible. Don’t be reckless, but stop over-planning. Life is what slips between the cracks of your minute overthinking.

Some things, we can never aspire to control. It’s the nature of the beast. Stop resisting. Not everything can be predicted and planned. From some fails, you cannot be safe unless you give up on everything that’s any fun, completely. You just need to give into it, throw the dice, and see what happens.

Trouble is, everyone thinks they have so much time, so they indefinitely postpone what they fear. I will build wings made of wax and dream and throw myself out of my ivory tower to my death a thousand times, before I give in to fear completely and resign to cozy self-told-lies. Not because it’s comfortable or rewarding to face fear, it’s not, it’s draining and terrifying and you’ll hate it. But you’ll hate not doing it more.

Like my rambling? Show me some love. I’m new here, been lurking for ages, afraid to get past the `new here` stage. I love feedback, but please be constructive.

Show your support

Clapping shows how much you appreciated Alex Moody’s story.