The Art of Eating on the Couch

Alexandra Kulick
Jul 11, 2018 · 2 min read

Disclaimer: Some of you might have to forgive me for this, including my mom.

There’s something that we all do, but no one really talks about it. Maybe it’s a habit you picked up in college, maybe you were raised in a relaxed household, but somewhere along the line we’ve all plopped down on the couch and eaten a messy meal in front of the t.v. Whether it’s pizza night or every night, couch eating happens.

But do you know how to eat on the couch correctly? If not, let me be of service. These five tips just might save your couch from permanent stains and help you relax after a long day. After all, there’s nothing worse than drowning your worries in a bowl of ice cream on the couch, only to realize you’re actually drowning the cat next to you.

Tip number one: Keep full plates on your lap at all. It might seem elementary but proper plate placement minimizes the spread of crumbs and reduces the “splatter zone.” Any slight plate placement variation can lead to a mess, especially in children under the age of five.

Tip number two: Keep napkins handy. There’s nothing worse than getting comfortable and having to get up two minutes later for a napkin. I like to stick them in between the backrest cushion; does it get handier than that? And for the ones in your life who might need more absorbency, stock a dish towel.

Tip number three: Utilize the armrest and back of the couch to stabilize plates once you’ve scarfed down at least half the content. Bowls automaticity classifies as a level two hazard, so be sure to wiggle a little to make sure your food is secure.

Tip number four: If your couch is conveniently near a window, utilize the windowsill as a buffet table. This can be especially handy when entertaining the relaxed crowd who are really just coming over to watch the latest episode of Game of Thrones.

Tip number five: Get a washable slipcover. I consider these the placemats of the couch eating world. They especially come in handy if you’re trying to keep your couch eating habits undercover. When mid-meal visitors knock on your door, your crumbs and secret will be easily swept away.

Whether or not couch eating is socially acceptable may be debatable, but we all know that it happens. So the next time your feet are tired and your mind is ready to shut down, but your stomach just won’t quit, keep these tips in mind for safe, effective, couch eating. And don’t forget the ketchup!

Alexandra Kulick

Written by

Alexandra Kulick is a author, blogger, mom, and wife. To learn more and connect, check out www.alexandrakulick.com

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