Computer Games, Mental Health and Me
I have wanted to write about my struggles with mental health and the positive influence computer games have had on my state of mind for quite some years now. I care passionately about both these topics and hope that I can connect with many others, who like me, have never really felt part of the status quo.
It would seem computer games have been getting a lot of negative press recently in the mainstream media and although games have been getting darker in nature and more graphic, it is important to point out that computer games can be a force for good regardless of the subject matter.
Most of my life I have suffered with mental illness and I am not afraid to admit that, it is an integral part of my character which, even though has challenged me greatly, at times has also made me appreciate the good times in my life. I suppose you would ask “What do computer games have to do with this?” well, quite a lot really.
It could be argued that my depression has been circumstantial and perhaps hereditary but it is has been within the beautifully crafted worlds of the many computer games I have played over the years where I have found so much comfort.
Growing up there were several negative factors in my life and I found that immersing myself within computer games allowed me to switch off from the world around me. When people around you are dealing with their own issues and are distracted by them it is natural to find solace in something that means a great deal to you, computer games gave me this escape.
I am not saying it was all good, there were times when my mum threatened to take my SNES off me when I was enraged at the injustice and pure helplessness of failing to beat a boss in Final Fantasy Mystic Quest but that is just my competitiveness and through that frustration it makes the victory all the much sweeter. Games have made me more tenacious and methodical in my approach to real life scenarios.
It is not just a solitary adventure, I have had a lot of fun playing multiplayer with friends from battlemode on the original Mario Kart right through to Goldeneye on the N64 and even playing games like Overcooked now with my nephew. Games bring people together either in the living room or online.
I find computer games absolutely fascinating, much like theatre what you see on screen is make believe and you know this yet it draws you in and before long find yourself emotionally invested in the pixels before you and the many forms they take. I like most gamers feel a great sense of ownership with some of my favourite games, growing to become a knight from a boy who happens across a sword in Secret of Mana to that epic showdown with Ganon in a Link to the Past and the amazing music in the credits that follow. These are my moments, amongst many others, but they also belong to every other gamer who has experienced them.
At times when I was down certain computer games became my friends who I could disappear with on various adventures to escape the inner torment I was going through, this in turn ignited a spark of wonder and creativity in me and I would come away so inspired at the spectacle of these amazing world’s and the developers who created them, many of which go unnoticed in the real world. These archictects, composers, artists, scriptwriters, master story tellers are unsung heroes in my world.
We live in exciting times now where the world is so much more connected and for the gaming community this has given us a great platform to share our stories and experiences and also let those developers know just how much we care about their craft and show some love for the adventures they have taken us on. In my struggles I have found keeping a connection with my inner child vitally important and I don’t think any of us should ever let that go.
So if you like spending time in the wastelands of Fallout, exploring the expanse of Hyrule in Zelda or frustratingly trying time and again to defeat that one boss in Dark Souls there is an inner child inside all of us that is loving the adventure. I know these worlds aren’t real but my inner child dares to dream the impossible, it dares to believe in these realities and I absolutely love that. May we always dream and to all those developers, thank you.