To my silencer,

Alex Renee Serna
Aug 27, 2017 · 2 min read

It’s okay to not agree.

Why is it that people in my life are so bothered when I express my disapproval? Men particularly, but that’s a whole different story.

Your loved one does something horribly wrong. You speak up to express your disapproval in their decision. You are called a bad friend, not supportive, cruel, etc… I say, that’s bull shit.

You’re telling me that you’d rather have someone in your life who lies and puts on a fake smile while you make mistakes? You’d rather silence me than hear me out? You prefer to distance yourself from me than respect that I want the best for you?

I’ve realized that no matter how close to a person you are, you are at risk for being punished for speaking your mind. Only a select amount of people exist who will swallow their pride, put aside their defensiveness, and listen to what you have to say. After all, the best advice comes from someone outside the situation.

Since this silencing and distancing from the people you love can’t be stopped by you yelling at them to stop, I’ve learned there is really only one thing to do in this situation.

Say your peace, but let them do what they need to do to heal. If you trust they are smart enough to do the right thing in the end, make sure they have heard what you have to say, and just be patient in letting it resonate with them, however long that might take.

If you love them, sometimes you have to sit back and watch what you can’t control. After you have done what you can, and they continue to make bad choices, they will need you more than ever. They need to know you are still on their side, or else you will truly lose them.

Through all this, always keep in mind that no matter how hard it is to speak up about their mistakes, always speak the truth, but stay by their side when they don’t quite hear your truths right away.

They will eventually see that your “cruelty” was actually the kindest thing you had ever done for them. Remind yourself that, and it will be okay.

)

Alex Renee Serna

Our world is full of troublemakers who wont keep quiet of the troubled world we live in.

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