This is a theory, a way of think about learning

It could be a little bit selfish, you could say it comes from a not illustrated mind, not very well educated. You could say it has a taste of masoquism, because it’s a victim who is writing it, or at least I could say, it’s my powerless frustrated position from where I’m writing this.

I’m very upset, frustrated, without power, without motivation today.
I came to learn, for this project, and suddenly I found myself in front of a high hill to climb, and here I am, so lazy, so rebel, so mad that the field is not easy and flat to walk over it.

I had to climb !
I had to learn ! how annoying is that !
My brain has to remember things !
My memmory needs to be focused and sharp to retain information !

How’s that come ?
when is that I became so old ? so stubborn to learn ?
Is that I don’t like the effort ? Is that I run away from sacrifice ? from pain ?
I am so coward, that I’m not able to tolerate pain anymore ?
What’s my history ? and why is that my history matters now that I’m thinking about the trouble of learning ?
My attitude is no helping, but instead of fighting back and force myself to attack the problem, I’m asking questions, one after another, going back into a stack, into the timelime of history, finding the seed of the problem.

Is that I really hate to suck ? to be ignorant and clumsy ? is that, maybe, I don’t want to be ridiculized because I don’t know the answers ?
Because, face it, I have been there so many times. People are so mean when they are aware that they have knowledge that you don’t have.
Or maybe people don’t want to teach you, or to assist you on every question you do. People have better things to do than spending time on you.

Maybe, the best option to learn something, is … to be alone.
To be in silence, total silence, total isolated, away from crowd.
And then, you can be upset, throw swearing words, throw a tantrum, cry if you want, and then, jump, shout for joy, cry if you want, when you achieve the goal, the maximum treasure: to understand what was blury; to see what was hidden in front of your bare eyes.

Go there then ! my man ! celebrate ! you achieve victory ! you got light over darkness !
you got clarity over blurness ! your brain connections are now formed ! and they have a purpose !
It’s not important for the world, it’s not important for anyone but you.
But you god blessed achieved it !
It’s your greatest recent victory !
The eureka !!
so much pain, you, the one that cannot stand for pain.
Did it worth ? Is the glory of the victory way much pleasant than the pain of the defeat ?
If that is the question, focus. Train your mind to support pain, or even better, to not think in pain.
make pain invisible little brother.
Go for what you deserve: pleasure. Go for it.
Go for it !