Imaginary Interview: Jordan Pickford

It’s 3pm. I’ve been on Zoom for three or four minutes, as the host of the meeting between myself and England and Everton number one: Jordan Pickford. He’s in lockdown in Liverpool so meeting in the pub or even the park wasn’t an option but he was happy to have our scheduled chat over the internet. A few minutes go by as I twiddle my thumbs and periodically check my phone, two skills I’ve become proficient at over the past six or seven months. I get a message through from Jordan saying:

Sorry mate, just logging onto zoom now!

I think that’s quite sweet because sure enough, 20-odd second later, a notification pops up saying that he’s in the waiting room and I need to let him in. Without further ado I permit Jordan to enter the chat and I am greeted a few seconds later with his face popping up next to my own in what looks like his living room. There’s no sound on his end for a couple of seconds and he narrows his eyes at his screen to check if everything is working. I can see he’s got a bookshelf behind him with a small plant, a trophy of some sort and one book: Of Mice and Men. His sound sorts itself out.

JP: Can you hear me now?

AS: Ah yes, now I can. Hi Jordan!

JP: Hello mate, sorry about that. My son was screaming the house down and I had to help Megan out for a bit. Then my sound, err, my audio wasn’t working for some reason!

AS: No worries at all!

JP: (Laughing) I’m not much good with Zoom and that. Technology, you know?

AS: Absolutely, I bet everyone’s had that a few times this year.

JP: Exactly! It’s crazy isn’t it?

AS: Yeah very weird. Is your son alright?

JP: Yeah he’s fine, thanks for asking. I was just watching some of my Everton games back which always sets him off.

AS: Oh dear! They’re not that bad are they?

JP: Yeah they are.

AS: Oh. Okay.

There is a brief silence.

AS: Anyway, thanks for joining me today Jordan, I know the lockdown hasn’t made it easy. You all set for us to start with some questions?

JP: Yeah, no problem, go for it.

AS: Okay fantastic. First of all I wanted to ask you about what I’m sure everyone’s asking you about at the moment so hopefully you’re not too sick of the questions just yet!

It was noticeable that Jordan’s laugh here was more than slightly forced.

AS: What was going through your head when you tackled Virgil Van Dijk on Saturday?

JP: I have had that question a few times, yeah. If I’m honest I just wanted to get the ball. I definitely didn’t go in with the intention of hurting the lad. I would never do that. I hope people realise that.

AS: Of course, of course. I don’t think people think you did, I certainly don’t. I was just wondering though. Did the fact that your arms are so short come into your head at all? Was it a conscious decision to wrap both your legs round him like a hug, knowing you wouldn’t have been able to reach all the way around with your arms?

Jordan looked deep in thought. I sensed I’d asked a cutting question. It was now more obvious to me than it ever had been previously, looking at his sheepish figure, that his arms were in fact just hands attached to shoulders, just about poking out of his short-sleeved t-shirt.

JP: I think that probably did come into it, yeah. Sub-consciously maybe, more than, you know, consciously — on purpose.

AS: That makes sense, it would be hard not to. Have you spoken to Virgil at all since the incident?

JP: I did get a message through to him through Joe, err, Joe Gomez, cause obviously I know Joe through, erm, being in the England setup and all that. I asked Joe to tell him I was really sorry and I wished him well on his recovery. Joe just said “f*** off Jordan, tell him yourself, he’s only there.” And to be fair he was. He was just there. It was seconds after I’d injured him.

AS: Oh. Right. Of course the challenge and resulting injury sparked a big debate over what sort of punishment you, and perhaps other players in your situation, should receive — particularly as you weren’t punished at all on the field. I’ve heard a few theories about what should happen, some more realistic than others. Have you any opinions on those? Did you see them firstly?

JP: I did yeah, I did see a few on social media. Look, I’m not in a position to say what should happen to me. As I say it was an accident and the ref didn’t do anything on the day and I think it’s difficult after that. Was I lucky? Yes, you could say that. But then what can I do?

AS: One of the suggestions was that you should not play for as long as Van Dijk can’t play. Have you given any thought to this?

JP: My wife actually told me about that one. She’s a Liverpool fan so she offered to tear my ACL for me! (Jordan laughs) No I think she was joking. Ultimately I’d love to show Virgil support by not playing but I think the best thing I can do for him is to carry on being Everton’s goalkeeper because I think he’d appreciate that.

AS: Why’s that? Because you make lots of mistakes and cost Everton points?

JP: Exactly, yeah.

AS: Fair enough.

JP: If I’m not in goal, Everton wouldn’t have a keeper!

AS: Well, they did sign a keeper in the transfer window.

JP: You wouldn’t think it though would you?

AS: No I suppose not. Moving on from that particular incident, the rest of the game was pretty action-packed and had a few other controversial moments. Can I get your take on the rest of the game?

JP: Erm. Well I thought it was a good game, first of all. A lot of these derby games end 0–0 and nobody wants to see that.

AS: Is that why you gave Origi a goal in the last minute in the 2018 match at Anfield?

JP: Exactly, yeah.

AS: Fair enough. Sorry, continue.

JP: Yeah so as I said it was a good game. A win for either side would have been nice.

AS: Sorry, either side?

JP: Yeah, the fans love getting the three points, don’t they?

AS: What, either set of fans?

JP: Erm, yeah I’d say so, yeah.

AS: Right. Would a win for Everton have not been preferable?

JP: For the Everton fans, definitely. I’m not sure about the Liverpool fans.

AS: Okay. Let’s get back to the game. Did you think you’d lost right at the end there when Henderson had the ball in the net, only for it to be ruled out for offside?

JP: Yeah that was a crazy moment. Obviously Jordan’s hit one from 30 yards, one of the hardest shots I’ve ever faced, and I’ve had to spill it into the goal. There wasn’t much else I could have done. Luckily he was clearly offside.

AS: There’s a lot for me to digest there but I’ll focus on the offside. You think it was clear that he was offside?

JP: For me, the VAR showed that some of the atoms on his shoulder were in line with our defender. And obviously, that’s cheating, so no goal. I’m not sure how the ref didn’t see it.

AS: It looked level to me, even with VAR.

JP: We’ll have to agree to disagree there! Crazy finish though.

AS: It would seem so! Actually Jordan that’s all we’ve got time for today, thank you for having this chat, I know the pandemic has made everything a little crazy, including your tackles! But yeah, thanks again.

JP: No problem mate, good to talk to you.

AS: Thanks, you too.

JP: Bye!

Jordan half closes his laptop but doesn’t close down the Zoom chat so I can still catch some audio before I log off myself. Showing his dedication to the game, he asks his son and his wife to play headers and volleys with him outside.