Hug your people: Other People destroyed me

I saw the movie Other People a few nights back. It is beautiful. The cast is great and it’s well directed and all that. It’s about a son who returns home to help to take care of a dying parent, so it obviously hit close to home. There was a part near the end where my wife missed some small detail that happened and she asked for clarification but I couldn’t open my mouth without just totally losing my shit. It finally got the best of me, though. I bawled — literally bawled — for 15 minutes after it was over.

Please don’t let that scare you off. Like I said, it’s beautiful, and it elegantly captures end-of-life — not to mention our complicated relationship with going “home”, so to speak. That’s another topic altogether.

The thing that tipped me over was remembering seeing my father’s body right after he died. My dad was a big man but over the course of the last few months cancer ate away until there was comparatively nothing left. His body was on that bed and he seemed so small compared to how I’d known him. And it it was the closest I’d been to that realization that almost everything we get stressed about and worked up over doesn’t really matter. None of it. Of course I still fall into old, stubborn patterns dictated by ego and I still forget this all of the time, but I try to keep myself in check and to not allow myself get distracted from the worthwhile parts of life. We are all messy, though, and this shit is hard.

It’s of the oldest cliches, but you can’t take any of the meaningless bullshit with you. No one laments having not been stressed or distracted enough in their final moments. Not being devoted enough to productivity. Hug your people. Hug yourself. None of us are long for this world; enjoy each other while you can.