Job hunting is dating

Alex Stubbings
Jul 10, 2017 · 3 min read

Ah the travails of the modern 20-something trying to secure a job that makes them reach for the stars. Whilst obtaining a decent university degree or even attending university is no longer a guarantee of suitable graduate employment how does one of the many millions of kids leaving university today actually get a job that they don’t fall into?

Just like with dating, your initial curiosity is aroused by the prospect of obtaining something desirable. In this metaphor, the employer takes the position of a woman, and the candidate (who can be either male or female) is the man approaching a woman.

The man, proud and confident approaches the woman he’s noticed and begins speaking. As they start talking it’s hard to tell whether or not it’s going well. The man asks if she would like to go grab a drink, she politely refuses his advances. Slightly defeated, the man accepts the decision and carries on his business. Two weeks pass and he can’t get the woman out of his head. He approaches again. This time when they chat, he suggests a different activity for them to do. Once again the woman declines; the man retreats. Another two weeks pass and the man’s spirit is still not broken. He sees the woman, begins speaking and asks once again if she would like to grab a coffee with him. This time she says yes.

In the example above the woman behaves similarly to an employer. They might not be looking for a boyfriend but they’re 50/50 about this man who keeps approaching them. The employer just like the woman has plenty of suitors to choose from; indeed for the employer, it is a buyers’ market.

So should an employer take a chance on a candidate (male or female) that they’re not looking for or are but who isn’t quite right? Well, it’s complicated. Employers risk a lot by taking on someone. Like women, employers invest significant resources and time into any successful candidate/employee. If the employee leaves once being trained up they loose those resources/time and relationship that they invested in them. This is the predicament: like with human courtship, females invest significant resources (time and biological), what should an employer do?

In an ideal world, like in this fiction, the employer would give the candidate a fair chance — with limited exploitation. And just like out plucky man, persistence paid off. However, as I’ve mentioned previously, this is a buyers’ market for an employer. With so many people competing for the few good jobs in each industry it’s just too easy. You might be the right candidate but because you haven’t had that level of polish or the right education, you are dismissed. The corollary is this: when applying for jobs (either speculatively or through the right channels) do you stop? Like our fictional man, if she had rejected him again would he have kept approaching or would he draw a line in the sand?

I mention this because a friend of mine was asked out six times by her now husband. That’s five separate occasions where she said no. The difference is, there are only so many males that will ask out one particular female but she has the not so envious job of selecting the most compatible one for her. Employers on the other hand might have 250(+) candidates applying for one coveted position and in some circumstances can do a “try before we buy” interview (a so-called work place interview where you spend 6 hours trying out the job). If the position is not advertised, however, the chances of success are 50–50 (a bit like Tinder). So what approach would you take? Give up after two speculative emails to a company go unanswered. Or do you persist? Do you send the same email every two weeks reiterating the same message?