Love Yourself, Challenge Yourself
In brightest day, in blackest night, no weakness shall escape my sight. Let “fear of failure” mediocrity’s might, beware my power determination’s might!
In an era where “self-love” often translates to nonchalance and irrelevant “motivational” captions, it’s vital to steer ourselves toward the true essence of Matthew 19:19: “…Love thy neighbour as thyself” (emphasis added).
def love(self, how)
Imagine a line of code defining a function called “love” within a class named “Me.” Whenever the love function is called, it passes the Me object into itself as an argument to the “self” parameter. The “how” parameter specifies how the Me object should be loved.
(If you’re interested in learning Python for love or science, just let me know in the comments. I’m a fluid teacher 😉.)
I included that bit because the syntax felt fitting for our discussion. On a more organic level though, what does it mean to love oneself and how can we genuinely do it?
Firstly, loving yourself isn’t about posting a photo of you at the spa on Instagram with a “self-love” hashtag. While treating yourself is part of loving yourself, flaunting it with #selflove often signals a need for validation.
True love for oneself involves forgiving past errors, thereby stopping self-inflicted psychological wounds like “I’m no good,” “I’m a nobody,” or “I’m so dumb.”
Next is self-acceptance, which follows stopping self-inflicted injuries. It means recognizing all your attributes — strengths and weaknesses alike — without condemning yourself for your failings.
Here’s my point: self-acceptance isn’t an excuse for complacency but a call for growth. Not condemning yourself for your inadequacies should not mean ignoring those inadequacies. This anti-growth attitude is often flaunted on social media, supported by many.
I…[muffle, muffle, muffle]
(Hey! Stop covering my mouth! I’ll say it.)
“I love my body…”
(Oh! He’s said it!)
Yes, the “I love my body” squad. It’s a delicate subject because there are various biological complexities to consider. But permit me to highlight the attitudes of some of the band members to convey my “unloving and evil” truths. FML–Fry me later!
You’ve got Ujwu, who’s struggled with her weight since childhood due to genetic factors, and then there’s Queen, who’s developed unhealthy eating habits over the years (more like Queen-mother). Each member faces unique challenges in loving their bodies.
Ujwu has accepted herself regardless of her looks, but Queen has accepted an unhealthy situation. There’s a difference between accepting oneself and accepting one’s situation. “Accepting yourself” means being non-condemnatory and positively self-encouraging. However, accepting a situation you can change is laziness and negligence.
You can love yourself in any situation, but you need not accept any situation. Loving yourself may mean disagreeing with your situation or your psychological conditioning.
Queen hasn’t loved herself. Queen has “allowed” herself! But she recover herself by admitting that her choices haven’t been wise and that she can make changes.
But this post isn’t about the Gang of Sizes. It’s about YOU!
Love Yourself = Challenge Yourself
You need to love yourself with a challenge. Sometimes we need to be tough with ourselves. You don’t need to harass yourself with disparaging words and guilt, nor should you indulge in views that breed complacency. Discomfort has often been the catalyst of our civilization’s evolution.
Some of us shy away from challenges because we hate the idea of failing. Some of us are ready quitters. We’ve quit and lost so often that we don’t need new “Total Loser” plaques on our memory shelf. But perhaps we’ve conceptualized challenges wrongly.
If you love yourself, challenge yourself.
We should view challenges as growth opportunities, not win/lose situations. Challenges compel growth unconsciously. They make us stretch beyond our limits. The growth is only apparent in hindsight.
While hitting the mark isn’t guaranteed, accepting challenges helps us embark. And moving is crucial to living (Mr Niger+D).
If you love yourself, you should challenge yourself. Never be satisfied with mediocrity. Push yourself rather than expect a push.
I do this often when working out. I started working out in my living room about a year ago. I started with 20 push-ups and heavy panting. Eventually, I got used to it and didn’t breathe so heavily again. I was proud of myself.
However, in one of those moments of accomplishment, a new realization dawned on me: “If I could achieve this, what else was I capable of?” It was a simple yet profound epiphany, provoking me to push beyond my perceived limits: “How about 40?” And after 40: “How about 60?” And after 60: “How about 100?” And so forth.
And I’ve borne this consciousness to everything else I engage in. ‘If I can do one, I can do two.’ It’s become my mantra, driving me to seek challenges and, sometimes, exceed my expectations. Because I’ve learned that truly loving myself means embracing challenges and continuously striving to become the best version of myself.
So take my counsel this time. Love yourself with a challenge. Not a social media challenge but a personal development challenge.
