Life Lesson

Alfons
Alfons
Nov 3 · 3 min read

Time. It’s a strange thing. It passes us like a flash during the moments we never want to end, but yet, always moves in slow motion during the moments that excruciate us. It frequently tempting us to seek comfort and perfection. When in fact, there is none.


Have you ever wondered why time always lead us to experience sadness and heartbreak? Have you ever wondered why time is the answer to all of the life solution?

I always think that time is ruthless. It took your precious possession in an instant, and left you alone with the grief-stricken feeling afterwards. Even when it’s impossible.


One night, we were strolling around Gultik Blok M. I remember I was holding your hand, swinging it around, and we were laughing under the streetlights whilst the moonlight showing its charm. I kept on rewinding those scene inside my head until this day. In that exact moment, I wish time would stop, play its role and shows its magic. I wish I could absorbed all the energy that flows within you, and kept it alive inside my heart. But then, reality striked me really hard. I was (and still) not worthy of you.

Another scene, in our flight home from Bangkok to Jakarta, we were dead tired. Our flight was just keep on delayed until 4 hours. But that time, I was secretly hoping that I could spend time with you a bit longer. Then turned out, we had major turbulence during our flight. But you kept on sleeping in my arms from start to end, as if nothing could stop you from having a nice dream. And me? I couldn’t sleep even a bit. Because I know, as soon as I let my eyes close, I would missed this particular moment. I would grieved over myself in my entire life knowing I won’t get a chance like this ever again.

Put it simply, I was crying for the whole flight.

Yes, I was crying. While holding you in my arms, rubbing your hair the entire time, and failing miserably to hold my emotion from pouring out. Shit.

I felt scared of losing you. I felt lonely at heart. Because deep down in my heart I knew, that you came to my life only once to teach me a lesson. A lesson that will change me to see the world in a new perspective.


Everyone express loss in a different manner. Well, to be fair loss is an exaggeration. How could I lost you, when in reality, I never have you?

I’ve always believed that there is nothing good when it comes to separation. Whether you want to admit it or not. Because there will be a time when you had a rough day, and the longing feeling will strike you to the bone.

And it took a long journey for me to realize that I was wrong. That it was me, myself, who supposed to be fixing my very own soul. Mending all those broken pieces, time after time, with a humongous amount of love and patience.

I learn that letting go, is not always painful as it seems. It’s a form of saving ourselves and our minds. Believing that we don’t have to be in the same universe to love someone. And that is the truest form of loving someone. That, is what i feel about you.


Throughout our journey, you have taught me a lesson. Time has taught me a lesson. At the end of the day, it’s not about the feeling that has been gone.

But it’s about time that it ends.

    Alfons

    Written by

    Alfons

    An Inbetweeners

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