How To Win Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

Source: Personal Archive

It is only 11 A.M. when I started this article. I have not done something significant today, but made my bed, so I just looking back and forth through the past and the future which I would prefer to happen (though I do not have any capacity to drive my faith). It made me feel more alive. Within these three years in the university, I never regret for what has happened to me, truly the years i spent in this city has shaped me to something I would have never imagined before. As I evaluate and reflect to my past, it is clear that I have been through many ups and downs, Looking back to my prior experiences I can say that a small error could turn into a fiasco, and one good deed could turn into a life-changing event.

At this point, I am too afraid that this article would be just about me-my life and will not include any of you to be attached to the story. So, I will take a perspective that, I guess any of you have experience this before. Yes, this article will be about “GETTING BACK TO YOUR EX-GIRFRIEND”. There i said it. It is the first time I want to discuss about romantic relationships. A temporary break from serious discussions firsthand. So let us start.

Like I have explained before, earlier this morning I was taking mental inventory. On everyone, everything, all of the past events for the last three years and stuffs. It made me think. Why do I want what I want? Do I want what I want? Should I take a step forward?

Which one will be more beneficial? Will they be equally beneficial? or will neither path pay off? What are my motives? And other questions that will need to be answered soon. Particularly, I spent most of the time to think about a question asked by my mom the day before (the older you get, parents would turn into best friends). It is “How is the love life? Have you find your other half?”. I was shocked when I first heard that question, but I quickly changed the topic, she just laughed.

To be completely honest. I have not dated anyone in these past three years. I broke up with last ex in 2014. Distance was the problem, I know it was a cliche. And by the way, yes this arcticle is about her. I am sorry for exposing you, I know you hate it when I do, I wouldn’t have been fine without your help. If you read this, then kudos to you. This article is dedicated to you :).

Let me put a general terms first. In every break up, women tend to say “someday we will be back together” or “I still want to picture the future with you” or shit like that with a little bit of “love” put here and there. It is called “security”. But honestly, in every break up, men will be likely the first to take action to get back to the old relationship. When a man first get dumped and the shock wears off, he may do several common things in an effort to get his girl back. The first thing he will do is trying to change her ex mind. As he fight her on the decision to break up (and his now ex girlfriend gets more and more annoyed), he will even start to beg and plead her to give things a second chance. A day or two later, he might be writing long love notes, seeking out the perfect cards, sending flowers or even small gifts thinking these can buy your way back into his ex’s heart (I did this). As things progress and he still haven’t gotten back together, he might show up at his ex’s job, school, or home in an effort to get her to talk to him (I also did this). All of these things are terrible ideas, but they are also the most common things men do after losing a girlfriend.
The one thing a man might fail to realize is that all of the actions listed above are designed toward making himself feel better. None of them are done toward fulfilling his ex’s needs or wishes. Men in such a position tend to act toward fulfilling their own needs, when they should be concerned with how their girlfriend feels at the time. Because of this, woman is going to become frustrated with everything a man do,
 When a woman broke up with a man, she pushed him away. This is because she is now trying to reconcile her own feelings, and she needs solitude in order to do that. She does not want to be influenced by the man, at least right now, which is why she does not want to hear anything from him immediately. And even if she offered to “still be friends”, this is definitely not the time to be contacting her. The more a man try to communicate directly after the break up, the worse his chances of ever getting back together.
 Let us take the following two scenarios as a good example of how things should go (and not go):
 Scenario #1 — A woman dumps a man, and in trying to get her back the man believe the best thing to do is keep in contact with her. After all, he have talked to and seen her every single day all these last weeks and months, so what should be different? He call his ex a few times, send her a couple of emails, and even drop her a text-message or two just to say hello to her.
 Since he is not actually asking to get back together with her, he thinks that all this contact is innocent and okay. In reality though, he is making his ex feel very strange about him. Before long, all his little messages get very annoying to her. She can not possibly miss him, because he is always blowing up her phone. She feels trapped in another smothering type of relationship with him, which is ironic because he is not even dating.
 Eventually she stops answering calls, and this is where the man feel her slipping away from you quickly. Maybe his ex girlfriend found someone else? Maybe she is moving on? He fear the worst, so he start showing up where she lives and works to spy on her. Whenhe get caught, he will try to justify it by telling her, he is only doing it because he love her. He quickly get labeled a stalker ex-boyfriend, which pretty much spells doom for any possible reconciliation he could have had with his ex.
 Scenario #2 — Again a man get dumped by his girlfriend, but this time he do not resist. Instead of fighting for her to change her mind, he agree with the break up. Wishing her the best, he give his ex one last hug and walk quietly away without a fight. She goes home totally confused, wondering why the man did not at least try to keep your relationship with her.
 All the next day, his ex is pretty baffled by what happened. but she shrugs and accepts it. Another day goes by, and then another, without any signs of contact from the man’s end. She checks her messages and there is nothing from him. No missed calls. Not a single email from him either. After a few days of thinking about things, the ex begins to wonder where the man are. Did he already move on? Did he find a new girlfriend? Did he even love her in the first place, because with the ease at which he let her go it doesn’t seem like he could have cared all that much.
 This is when his ex actually begins to miss him, because he have not been around at all. She’s also curious as hell as to what he have been doing. Truth be told, she is also a little fearful that maybe he have already moved way past the relationship. Here she is still thinking about things, and he do not appear to be. His ex will start to believe she needed the man a lot more than the man needed her, and this is something that is strangely attractive to her. This is when the man will get that not-so-innocent ex girlfriend phone call. How he handle it can be critical to setting up a short meeting or reunion date with the ex.

Those two scenarios had actually quite illustrated how to get your ex back to you. Sadly, I failed to get my ex back, because I was the man in the Scenario #1 and while I was writing this article, I just realised that I should have chosen the Scenario #2. I know there is no point of regretting. Honestly, I enjoyed all of the efforts to get her back. Surely, the results may not be as what I expected before. But it totally worth all the time, money, and work that have been done before.

There is no guarantee, however, if the method works on everybody else, I am simply giving suggestions based on my own personal experiences (which I have failed to make it). In the end, it is up to everyone to decide what kinds of one to undertake. I can only wishing you all the good luck in the world!

Alfatehan Septianta

Bandung, 5th September 2017

00.20 PM