…then WTH am I doing here??

I suppose every story has a beginning. I can’t exactly remember mine here, except that there has been this persistent thought inside my head for years now…a whisper really….

“Software Engineer”.

There it is. I did it. I said it.

NOW WHAT?

Well, hold on — because at this point I’m way past NOW WHAT? I mean, I think I’m still in it, but I’m not behind it that’s for damn sure. So where am I then?

Well, funny you should ask…in April I took a Python class at Hackbright Academy. I told myself I was just dipping my toes in the ocean of opportunity to learn a programming language, but I was fooling myself if I thought it wouldn’t turn into something more serious. You see, I’ve made a pretty decent career out of office managing so far, a comfortable one that I know I excel in, that I could grow in and become an expert in. Who am I to think I could want or even deserve more?

More — that word. Something about it just drips with implication. More…what? Is this life I’ve made for myself not good enough for me? Is what I do now somehow beneath where I want to be? Is my pursuit of more leading me above and beyond who I am now, beyond the people who are happy to stay here? Does it mean office management is somehow less than? That who I am now, and the people here are somehow less than?

No. It’s actually not this complicated. Right? It’s not that I want or deserve more, it’s that I crave something different from what I am doing now. The truth is, I’ve spent most of my 20’s trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up and — for the first time in my adult life — I feel like I’m finally excited to explore the answer to this question…What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up? Well it’s not a whisper now, it’s not even a thought, it’s an action that’s been put into motion…

Software Engineer.

In July, I started phase 0 at Dev Bootcamp. I’ve been working full time and spending an additional 20–30 hours per week on my course work since then. It’s been a crazy ride, but a rewarding one, and I am beyond excited to continue forward! S0…I finally put my 2 weeks notice in at my job on Friday and am looking forward to my last day. I spent a lot of time feeling pretty down about work, but now that it’s coming to an end I’m realizing how appreciative I am of the opportunity I had, and the role that being an office manager at a tech company played on my interest in software! I updated my mom about my DBC progress and she responded with a healthy dose of encouragement and reality as usual.

She asked if I was sure I could get a job, and if this was what I really wanted to do. I honestly answered, YES. I mean, WTH am I doing here if I don’t believe in those 2 things, right? Right.

So, in summary, I am going to be a Software Engineer. THAT’S what I’m doing here.

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