The Most Powerful Thing You Can Do Right Now

This YouTube video I just watched brought me to tears and affirmed what we all must do

I’m supposed to be sleeping. A few things having me restless though. A terrorist is suing me, apparently now for the third time. There is the beer from last night still sitting in my stomach. And I have a friend going through his own tribulations.

I don’t know… but I feel compelled to write this. In between my blankets, I close out the world but my phone is my lifeline. I’m consuming content from Twitter, Facebook, and the blogosphere constantly, basking in the glow of my phone.

I ran into this video and I wept.

I’m usually working on something new and exciting and people in my industry want to hear about it. Or maybe they don’t, but it’s the how are you doing of the professional space I’m in. What ‘cha working on, Ali?

Nowadays, I explain that most of my time is eaten up by a vexatious litigant, Brett Kimberlin, who has terrorized my family, business partners, clients, and donors. I tell them about my restless nights, my overwhelming anxiety that’s ripping away at my health, and how I have to shuffle through emails from various lawyers each and every day. I tell them that this guy is a literal terrorist—a domestic bomber whose rap sheet should terrify you. Kimberlin is doing a good job of making my life a living hell. At some point, you reach what I dub the “Zombie-movie-moral-dilemma.” Why live? Simple. Because it beats dying. While a living hell is not the most ideal of places to be in emotionally or spiritually—it beats dying.

We are called to live.

We are also called to forgive. Kimberlin started attacking me in May or June of 2012. I remember it like it was yesterday because I was a different person then. That Ali is dead. Someone had told me to pray for Kimberlin—that followers of Christ are called to pray for their enemies. I did.

I don’t think I got it though. It wasn’t until March 2013 when some industry folks decided to outright lie about me that I think I got it. My career was moments away from being over (so I thought) and I logically concluded that I couldn’t fight back. There was no path to victory. It’s still a story I refuse to fully tell because, ironically, it would stain my enemies, but also harm some of my allies. It was then, broken and beaten, unable to fight for myself that I gave it up.

You know that feeling. Justified anger. Resentment for being wronged. Spite and contempt for people who would act with such carelessness for your well being. Amazement.

I gave it all up. I believe in the God and the Christ of the Bible. I also believe that you don’t need to be a believer in order to accept the very practical and philosophical advice Jesus taught. He said that murder begins in the heart. He called us to love our neighbors. He said to pray for our enemies. And so I did. I prayed and I cried. It’s hard praying for your enemies. Especially, in the very moments that they are causing you grief.

I’ve always hated the phrase, “kill them with kindness.” Screw kindness. Forgiveness exists above that though. Kindness, pfft.

Honestly, my first instinct was to pray for their destruction. Heck, I may have! And then I’d pray for their success. That felt even more foolish! I sat for a moment and reflected on doctrine. What did God require of me? He required that I bend to His will. And so I prayed for that. I prayed that I be moved from hate, that they learn to stop hating me, and that God’s purpose be fulfilled in the chaos that was before me. I got my relief. That instant. If I was to be destroyed, so be it. There were other options out there, other things I could do. It was empowering actually.

The most powerful gift you can give yourself right now is to forgive that person you’re in conflict with. It could be over a verbal slight, taking that promotion you deserved, or worse, the murder of your child. We should have the strength and faith of Robert Rule. He had his child ripped from this world and forgave the murderer. He chose not to hate.

The video was telling. Mothers and sisters and husbands, all victims of this killer. They lodged at him what he deserved. What they were feeling was justified, yet the killer remained unmoved. It was a single act of forgiveness that broke this man. He’s probably a sociopath—incapable of empathy—and yet, this act of forgiveness got through to him. That defies everything we assume in our culture. Think on that for a second.

Hate is elusive and tricky. You’ll start to say things like, “well, I don’t hate them, I’m just angry—and I have every right to be!” Or, “what they did is wrong, they need to be punished.” Don’t be a fool. Don’t think you’re above it—you’re not. Hate will eat you before it eats your enemy. It is a leech on your existence and robs you of a redeemable part of your humanity.

To hate someone else is to damn yourself.

Who will love the sinner? Who will treat the worst among us with kindness? Who will show charity and love to someone who has fallen? Who will show this love immediately and unconditionally?

You and I ought to. Victims have their rightful place, yet, I have to believe there’s too a place for the person who has done wrong. I have to believe that forgiveness isn’t simply a benefit for one, but instead a benefit for us all.

Why wait for that perfect PR moment or when the person is remorseful?

I want you to understand that I’m not asking you to believe in my God, in Jesus. I’m asking you to recognize the beauty of forgiveness. The philosophically completeness of what that all entails. Live that truth, regardless of religion. If we are not our sister or brother’s Judge, we cannot ask them to repent before us. It means we owe them immediate help. This is a Christian teaching that should have universal resonance.