A Letter to Teen Girls

There is something I want you to know. No matter what people say or do, there is nothing wrong with you. Nothing. We are all just doing what we know — what we have learned along the way. The bully who hurts others is in so much pain inside. The girls who gossip are actually feeling insecure and confused about who they are.

What it all comes down to is this: We don’t know who we really are.

If we truly understood the essence of who we are, our love for ourselves and everyone else would fill up every bit of space within us and around us. You are so beautiful. Breathe that in for just a moment.

You…are…so…beautiful. Please remember this.

When I was a teenager, I wanted so badly to feel like I belonged somewhere. I was so confused about life and just wanted to feel that someone really understood what I was going through. It was difficult to talk to my parents about things. Teachers and other adults just didn’t seem to “get it” either. I felt alone and confused a lot.

We didn’t have the internet or cell phones back then, so it was much easier to escape the bullying and teasing that we see so much of online these days. We still found plenty of ways to be mean to each other though. Passing notes in between classes, gossiping in the halls, rejecting someone from the lunch table, or spreading rumors were all pretty common.

Even after high school, things like this continue. As we are starting a new job, going to college, or beginning a new chapter in life, we often feel the insecurity and peer pressure once again. The urge to “fit in” is there, with all the limitations and restrictions that come with it. There are so many pressures upon us, aren’t there?

Is it really important what others think about us? Does it really matter what we wear, what kind of car we drive, or how much money is in our bank account? Sometimes it feels like it matters. But you know what? It really doesn’t. What really matters is kindness, compassion, expressing who we really are and giving others permission to do the same.

Our world is going through so much change right now. As difficult as it is, there is also a beautiful opportunity presenting itself at this time. Change opens up to growth. Growth expands into freedom. We have a choice to make now. We can choose to continue living the limiting ways we have been or we can choose a new way of life. We truly can move from a place of fear and suffering to a place of joy, love, and beautiful connection. Together, we can do this.

As a young woman in the world today, you have the opportunity to make a real difference. If you have felt scared, misunderstood, lonely, depressed, or unloved, I assure you this doesn’t have to be what defines your life. There is another way. It’s not always going to be easy, or even make sense all the time. It may require you to step outside of the things you’re used to at times. But it’s so worth it.

We need you. We need what you bring to this world. Only you have the unique gifts that you are here to offer. I know you may not know what those things are yet. That’s OK. Little by little they will be revealed.

Listen to the voice within you. Not the one that criticizes or puts yourself down. I’m talking about the little whispers of truth that you’ll hear in the moments that matter most. You’ll know it’s truth because you’ll feel the love that surrounds you.

You are the light of the world, beautiful one. Please remember this.

You are so loved.