Single Me

I have been single for like…. 4 years? And I will get my diploma as soon as possible. Bachelor of arts, the art of being single.

And I, right now, and from 2 years (or probably 3 years) ago desperately want to be in a relationship. Yes, you tell me? I’m tweeting about me in love, me want a guy in my life, me want a guy that can take me to some theme park without me asking and begging because THAT GUY is mine, y’all!

I was born to explore, when I was kid I loved to be lost and strangely (or smartly) I can go back to my house safely without my parents know what had happened to me in the last few hours. Damn, I was so smart as a kid.

That adventurous rush always come to me (almost) every single time. From the simple adventure like going from my campus to my local mall by my own to buy some eggs and eating “sate telor” while walking. I really appreciate my willingness to explore some random places while people would stare at me like “are you gabut”. No, darling. That was my therapy to release my stress and I would like to order a Frappuccino while working on my paper at the local Starbucks, and sitting there for hours until I need to pee, again by my own.

I really love my self-time, and my mouth would no longer speak that much. Because the position has been taken by my heart. And I would love to spend a day with my dear friends, because deep down I am an ambivert. I will love to laugh with them throughout the day or night. But sometimes, as you gain the freedom for almost 5 years, you feel the emptiness in your heart.

It’s scattering, begging me to find what it wants. And I do, it crushing for a hundred people for no particular purpose, as I thought it don’t last forever. And, if I stop to a heart, it doesn’t go well-it stopped. As I keep looking I keep finding that people fall in love in mysterious ways (are you sing it?), and as far as I concerned, and my friend told me that people is hard to fall in love with me because they treat me as a friend, and I’m good at it. Or, am I just ugly?

That’s why I can’t decide which one is date and which one is going-to-places-with-opposite-gender. Because for me, they are my friends. And even though I have a crush on them, they didn’t.

I have a few good guy friends and we know that we can’t go far from this friendship. Because I keep telling myself that these guys would be my best men in my wedding day, not my husband.

And as a hopeless romantic, I keep watching numerous romantic movies and as a children believe in fairy tale, I believe that I will (soon) find the love of my life and sing A Whole New World together.

You can call me anything, but I’m craving for my happiness to be share with a person who owns my heart. And having some adventure together, telling each other stories, and even-lost together-but I don’t need to worry, because my home is there, by my side.

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