The Start of Everything

So tonight is just an usual night, the usual Jakarta night, but I will go to my friend’s party. As you know, I’m not a party-person but there is ‘this person' that push my inner soul to go. And I did.

“Hey, Ren. How is your IB?”

“Not great, but that was nice I think?”

“I hope so, and you will continue your study to Monash?”

“Yea I got accepted so why not?”

“Well, I heard that Azriel is going to Monash too,”

“W….ait, really?”

“Uh oh, you are glad isn’t it?”

“N….o I’m….”

“Good luck then,”

And Tania left, she winked to me. Shit, she must be know something I didn’t. I don’t know how to act after that short conversation, and I drank. Fuck Monash.

It was me and my Heineken in my hand and I don’t care with everything anymore. I have done with IB, my parents went, and this is the new me-the drunk me-walking through the corridor and end up playing “Truth or Dare”, honest hour, baby!

That was quite fun, or not? I’m giggling in every second so I don’t care with their words and Azriel was there. But shame on me, he doesn’t put any attention at this drunk girl. Or, I just don’t know?

And it’s finally my turn, I need two minutes to be conscious. And Tania was on fire, she wants to stab me, that bitch.

“So, Rena. I hope you are awake so I’m gonna asking you this question: do you love Azriel? Be honest and I will give you a ride to your home,”

“Huh? Me? Azriel?”

I’m trying to give a stupid look, but I guess I am indeed. And I was afraid to look at Azriel. So Tania answered,

“I repeat, do you love Azriel?”

I stopped. They know I’m drunk, I could give them every single word without thinking and they will not give a damn. Maybe. But instead, I give Azriel a question.

“So, you. What if I did?”

Azriel stared at me. I don’t know what was that look. And he answered,

“I’m happy, with or without you in love with me.”

“Wow, what an answer! I do in love with you. Be happy!”

I give a shot to the air. They shook, Tania laughed, Azriel stared.

I forgot, but Azriel take out my drink, “I’ll text you,” he said.

I shrugged.

The group chat was lit at the morning. Azriel and I was on topic. And he do not text me, yet.

“So, Az. Wake up boy and send me a screenshot of your chat with Rena,” Tania typed.

“Bitch,” I answered.

“Wkwkwk, I’m sorry my Rena sweetie, but did Az texted you last night?”

“STFU Tan,” another people came out.

“Rena was drunk. Maybe she doesn’t mean it.” another people said.

And that boy texted me.

“Rena, I don’t even care with your words last night. But I need to know your preparation. Monash. Got that?”


“I will get there on May, probably?”

“Let’s get our ticket together then?”

What was that?

“Sure. You or me?”

“I will. Are you still drunk?”

“No, I’m drinking an orange juice rn.”

“Ok I will get our reservation. And btw, do you already get your apartment?”

“No? I have done nothing.”

“Good. We will doing that later. We stay together, I repeat, we stay together. #monashbound.”

“Haha, funny.”

“See you when I see you.”


What the hell, Rena? Are you in your mind?

May, 14th. AR1720. Australia.

“Long time no see, huh?” Azriel punch my shoulder.

“Lebay.” I said, with my heart pounding.

“Sorry, girl.”

“Stay away, Az. I’m trying to read.”

And he does.

After I put my book he asked me.

“So I think I have to sort it out.”


“Remember when we played TOD a few months ago?”

“Yes, and you text me later that morning and we end up here and just like that.”

“Exactly, but I mean it.”


“’I’m happy with or without you in love with me.’”

“Yea, because you have no feelings toward me right?”

“The opposite,” he take a deep breath, “I have a feeling for you. And I honestly doesn’t care with or without you feels or think about me, because I simply loving you without any excuse. I love watching you in every moment. And I want to get close to you, but at the same time I don’t want this feeling get hurt if you don’t love me back. So I put it that way, my feeling. But then, you answered. That you are in love with me. I am speechless. I was wrong. So, do you mean that?”

And I am speechless. But I give him an angry look, I shut my mouth all the time. And he doesn’t asking me anything later on. Or talk to me. Until we arrived.

“Az, I hate the way boy always hide their feelings. It’s like you want something but you don’t want it at the same time. And us, girls, not stupid. We know how boys react to us and we can read, we can read feelings. So do I. Honestly, Az. I knew that you love me since sophomore. And I love you back, I love your kindness and everything you did to me. But you don’t do anything to makes us close. I was worried so I kept my feelings. And I’m happy we are on this together. And Az, thanks to your honesty,” I’m thinking for a second and continue, “Can you be Ron Weasley to my Hermione Granger?”, I sigh, “Because we were in friendzone before, so?”

“Rena, I’m asking you back. Will you be my lover?”

I giggled, “Yes.”

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