In the last section of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” Carnegie addresses some essential principles and techniques every leader should have in mind in order to exert his role effectively. As in the previous sections, Carnegie breaks this one down to nine parts each one addressing a specific principle. However, Carnegie omits to give a clear definition of the concept of leadership and instead just focuses on the specifics that the person on this role should have or do.
John C. Maxwell, one of the greatest thinkers in the realms of leadership, once said “leadership is not about titles, positions or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another.” In other words, leadership is about influencing others to achieve a vision or a common goal. Under this notion, we can encapsulate Carnegie’s nine listed techniques and principles into the three main roles of a leader. A great leader should be able to encourage his people, he must be able to provide criticism in a constructive way and finally, he must be able to influence and direct them towards the major goal.
Encouraging others is all about appreciation. As has been said in the previous chapters of this series, people want to feel valued. A leader who praises their team’s hard work will end up being liked by them and therefore be found in a position in which he can exert a greater degree of influence on their actions. Furthermore, as Carnegie mentioned, “it is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points”. This goes in line with the first stage of the 3-stage process, laid out in part 3 of this series, to influence others namely, setting a positive tone. Praising inspires others to keep improving. A great leader knows that abilities wither under criticism while they blossom under encouragement.
A great leader must be willing and able to correct his subordinates. That is a leader should be able to provide criticism. Criticism is vital since it will help their team grow and develop in the long term. However, this task is far from easy. Human beings, after all, are not logical and reasonable, human beings are vain and egocentric creatures more often than not guided by their emotions. Under this scenario, the act of providing criticism with the hopes of helping others grow could backfire and instead, the only thing that may end up growing is resentment towards the leader. Carnegie makes a great deal of emphasis on letting the other person save face. In other words, even when we are certain we are right and the other person wrong telling them this would only cause their ego to be destroyed. Instead, Carnegie suggests we talk about our own mistakes first. Others are more willing to accept criticism when the other person has humbly accepted he is far from perfect too. Additionally being subtle and indirectly deliver our criticism allows people to digest it more easily.
The final and probably the most important role of the leader is influencing their team and guiding them towards a specific goal. It is fair to say that both encouragement and providing constructive criticism are in a way techniques of influence. Constructive criticism, in one hand, allows people to see the behaviors and actions expected of them so that they correct and improve those areas in which they are still lacking. Encouragement, on the other hand, gives people the motivation to thrive by knowing you have faith in them and in their abilities. This same faith can also be used to improve others in specific areas. Carnegie suggests we act as though a particular trait is already one of the person’s outstanding characteristics. This creates in the person a sense of duty to live up to that reputation. Furthermore, giving directions is usually more effective when done indirectly. Never give direct orders, always give suggestions. As Carnegie well put it, using suggestions and questions make orders more palatable and also stimulates the creativity of the other person.
When influencing others an effective leader should be sincere. He needs to be aware of what exactly does he expects from the other part, he needs to understand what the other party wants or needs, reconcile his desires with those of the other person and finally put out his request in a way that will let the other party see how it benefits him.
Encouraging, providing constructive criticism and influencing; these are the main roles of the leader. Carnegie successfully pointed out specific elements and techniques that would allow a leader to fulfill any of these roles effectively. The most important thing to remember is that overall the final objective of the leader is to influence others to achieve an objective and the best way to do this is to put himself in the other person’s shoes and try to reconcile his needs with those of the other person.
