My 40 at 40

If you’d told me ten years ago I’d make it to 40 alive or at best well, I would never have believed you. Having lost my mother, aunt and grandma to breast and ovarian cancer, I was convinced I’d follow suit. Yet here I am – alive, happy and healthier than I could ever have imagined.

When you’ve lived your life with “likely to have hereditary cancer gene” scrawled across your medical notes since you were 9 – cancer and the threat of cancer hangs over your head like a heavy thunder cloud just waiting to release a torrential downpour.

For some this could be debilitating, for me it drove me to live every day as if it were my last. I have done everything I have ever wanted to do. I knew if I died, I’d died with no regrets.

Life was and is something amazing to be embraced and celebrated. I’ve known what death is far too early in life, and the shadows it casts over those left behind. I was determined to live life in the sun. And have done so.

Five years ago, I was diagnosed as having the BRCA1 gene. This was a beautiful gift – it triggered access to preventative treatments. These treatments have radically reduced my life time risk of cancer. These treatments and the brca label have given me the gift of a future that stretches out far into the distance.

Last month I turned 40. This is quite a milestone in my mind. It’s felt incredible to know I’ve at least another 40 years of life left.

To help me celebrate I’ve come up a new list of life goals – in the shape of 40 things I plan to do at 40. Things on the list have to be new things that I can start dreaming of, practical things that need to happen or opportunities to celebrate the everyday. This blog post is my way of sharing this list and holding myself to account.

I plan to:

• Learn circus skills
• Write a will
• Attend a Bollywood dance class
• Go on BBC radio4 today
• Organise a Eurovision party
• Have a pedicure
• Learn how to ride a unicycle
• Learn how to weave
• Dye my hair
• Do a podcast
• Start playing the cello again
• Eat 40 foods I’ve never tried before
• Write a blog
• Make photo albums for my children
• Hire a stylist for the day
• Go in a helicopter
• Swim in the River Thames
• Learn how to make cocktails
• Photobomb a news report/film premiere etc
• Have a family professional photo shoot done
• Make a list of films I’ve never seen and consider watching them
• See the northern lights
• See Pompeii
• Learn a choreographed dance routine
• Climb the monument building in London
• Go on a duck tour
• Have a weekend away with each of my children
• Sort out my pension
• Fly first class
• Learn circus skills
• Make a ring
• Write letters of appreciation to 5 close friends
• Be professionally made up
• Learn Dutch
• Climb a mountain
• Go part time
• Host a cheese tasting party
• Milk a cow
• Spend a day complimenting 40 people

The list isn’t complete because in writing it, it’s made me realise I need more fun in my life so I’m going to be open to opportunities as they arise, encourage friends to give me suggestions and start to notice when I reach the edge of my comfort zone and stick that activity on my list. I cannot wait to get started.