Gorgeous , Heavenlee, Cristina, Alicia.
I don’t really know what every little girl wanted to be my age growing up, I didn’t talk to people very much back then. But I definitely knew what I wanted. I wanted to SING. I wanted Tina Turners legs and moves with Gladys’s voice and maybe a little of Sade Adu mixed in. I knew I had the talent. I could mimic any voice I heard on the radio and in person. I just knew I would be famous one day. If only I could get away.
My voice was velvet. Hell I practically led the choir for something like 8 years starting at age 10 in my hometown Church in Upland, California. I didn’t care too much for the Bible, so to not cause any problems at home I would go and play my part as long as my Foster Mother allowed me to SING. And sing I did! For the next 9 years the system made my life revolve around school, church, therapy ( group and individual) and pills every day and night. I stayed drugged up enough on medication for whatever “disorder” they said I had that week. Sometimes I would get lucky and they would leave me alone for a couple of months and then a new diagnosis and a new pill. I made sure I just drifted off into a land of clarinets and melodies. Dreaming about freedom.
Looking back for a girl like me growing up there was a good place to be. Southern California is GORGEOUS. It was easy for me to get lost in my own imagination while walking down the Foothill in Spring picking tangerines from the neighbors yards and humming songs I had made up in my head. Not Really going anywhere in particular, usually just ended up at the park. I just didn’t really want to be inside while it was so beautiful outside. Memories…
Somewhere along the way I got lost. Really lost. Like how Alice fell in the rabbit hole lost . I don’t know how or why it happened but I just started to care less about singing and more about making money. I guess I just grew up and figured I had to live. When I ended up facing a choice of sleeping on the streets or giving a blow job. I choose the latter. And I don't regret it at all.
Oh No! Don’t judge me! Everyone has a Story to tell. Just so happens this isnt a completely nice one. So what? At least I’m being honest. No ones life is all peaches and cream every second of the day if it were I don’t think it would be a very good story anyway and if you are looking for that please turn away now. Just remember I warned you.
)))))) This is my first short story. If you would like to read the rest let me know and I will post it. Feel free to leave whatever comments you would like. Thanks for reading!((((((